Characters: Noah 'Puck' Puckerman, Finn Hudson, Kurt Hummel, ensemble
Warnings: crazy gender swap.
Spoilers: references through season 2
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money. No affiliation.
A/N: from the glee_angst_meme, prompt here
Summary: A scientific anomaly turns Puck into a girl. With no other choice but to wait until he changes back, he moves on with his life. Things were fine up until Finn kissed him and shit started between them.
"Dude," Finn is just shocked. Like, mouth hanging open, blinking rapidly, looking up and down constantly shocked. "What the hell?"
"Don't even talk to me." Puck just slams his locker shut as well as possible, still not handling the change or the emotions it churned up, or the fact that he was seriously missing a few very important parts. It had been all over the news, some kind of scientific anomaly or whatever, changing dozens of people from one gender to the other, ranging from adolescents to borderline elderly. No one honestly believed it would happen in Lima, so when Noah Puckerman woke up that morning with no dick and a set of boobs, he figured he was way deserving of his little (okay, massive) freak out.
And his Ma wasn't even interested in letting him stay off school. Like it was just another thing. The news said that the change would happen on its own and there was nothing to be done, that those affected would be granted free medical care and compensation to ease the transition. Easing the transition would be fine if Puck knew when he'd get his body back. What really sucked was that he was fucking tiny. He was Rachel-sized. He was small, and had boobs, had shoulder length hair and really tiny wrists and hips and no dick. The whole 'hey, boobs' thing wore off round about the time he realised that this was what he had to deal with for an extended period of time.
"But you're, well, a girl."
"Dude, I had noticed." He had tiny hips that meant he'd needed to cut an extra hole into one of his belts, his jeans were barely holding onto his hips and his shirt draped over his shoulders like he was wearing bed sheets. He didn't even try his shoes, just snagging a pair of his mother sneakers instead. "It's hell, I'm hating it, leave me the fuck alone."
And most people do, because he's rude and mean to everyone except Brittany -because it's impossible to be mean to her and she actually brushes his hair (and what the hell does he do with hair? He hasn't had more than a strip of hair since he was thirteen!) and walks with him to class and talks like he hasn't just had a complete gender change. He knows that people are staring, knows that he's getting whispered about, but the first person to actually make a joke to him, to his face, ended up with a near broken knee and yeah, he got left well alone after that because he might be tiny but he still kicks really fucking hard.
Three days in and he's officially about to kill someone. Kurt is demanding that they go shopping, Rachel wants to work on his vocal ranges, Santana wants to 'experiment' and the rest of the school just keep gawking; he's been hit on, he's been glared at by several girls (and he's slept with most of them), teachers seem to think they should be all nice and kind, Sam stares at his boobs, Finn stares at his ass, Tina keeps comparing their sizes and Miss P. keeps trying to give him leaflets on gender reassignment like he's actually going to want to read that shit. Without a doubt, Kurt is the worst.
"No, really, the plaid and jeans worked fine when you were in your body, but please, you can't even see your hips in this." Kurt wants him to wear girl clothes, Kurt wants to give him a make-over for his girl self. Kurt will not shut up about posture and body type and body shape and his damn hips.
"Do I look like I have money to be tossing around on temporary girl clothes?"
"I will pay. I will buy the clothes and pay for lunch and even take you to a movie." It's the movie and the lunch that seal the deal and really, Puck should've held out for something better; but Avengers is absolutely awesome and he kind of had fun.
He's proud enough of himself that he can manage bras and girl shit like that, so he's not too fussed. And Kurt might have a point, because when he puts on the chick clothes, he's actually kind of hot. He'd totally do himself. It's not like he's got big tits or anything, he's what Kurt called petite and fuck if Puck knew how that happened, but he's got chick pants that fit, a pair of docs that fit his little feet (and when he changes back to himself, Sarah can get them) and Kurt only threw a mild diva fit when Puck demanded he get at least two shirts with plaid designs. He's still pretty badass, and maybe Kurt was on to something with the pants that fitted around his hips and ass, because really, as long as Puck is in a chick body he should be hot and badass, just like his dude self is. Puck finds he doesn't even mind the fucking plaid pants (seriously, Hummel bitched about the shirts but made him take a pair of plaid pants that didn't even reach his ankles) because he totally rocks them.
"Holy shit, Puckerman, what happened to you?" Being friends with Santana as a girl is just the same as being friends with Santana as a boy; only as a girl, she keeps asking if he'll let her go down on him.
"Hummel attacked me with a makeover and some hair product." He doesn't hate it, and Kurt knows that. Because so far, the shortest time anyone has been stuck in the wrong body is a month; that was the shortest recorded time to date. Puck was only just coming to his first week. So he had to just deal with it.
He ends up hanging out with his sister a whole lot more, she says she likes having a big sister, but one day, after they've spent the whole day sampling ice cream at the mall, she asks him when he'll be himself again. "I dunno squirt, soon hopefully." Santana and Britt hang with him more than usual, although he still does guy stuff with Finn and Artie, when Finn can stop staring at his ass. He's on day seventeen of being a girl when it happens.
"Hey, Puck," Finn sort of stands by Puck's locker, shifting from foot to foot and Puck doesn't know what to do with Finn and his awkward turtle impersonation. "Can we talk?" It's not like Puck's pulled his attendance up that much that he would be frowned at for missing a class, so he just nods and lets Finn walk them to the deserted resource room just past the library.
"So, what's up?" Puck's got a good idea what it is. Because Finn's been a little weird lately, like he'll blow Puck off midway through something that was his idea, and he keeps correcting himself when he calls Puck 'bro', and he's still staring at Puck's ass. So Puck's pretty sure that Finn is having a hard time dealing with Puck's girl thing, and is probably going to ask that they not hang out as much until Puck is a girl. Which yeah, sucks, but Puck figures if it helps Finn not stare at his ass, it'll be okay.
"Um, the thing is, you, well, you're a girl, except you're not really a girl, but just now you are a girl, right? And you have all these girl parts. And you need to do girl stuff and things, but you're still Puck and sort of a guy in some ways but not looking like one, so it's like, it's hard sometimes, trying to figure out if you're a guy or a girl or if it's Puck or not, and I-"
"Okay, you're rambling and it hurts my ears, so seriously, dude, it's fine. Whatever. Okay?"
"Really?" Puck just nods, because he figured that it's be a bit hard for certain people -he figured it would be harder for him too, but it's like this vacation in a chicks body or something and he's been assured that it's temporary so, it's not that big a deal (besides, Figgins is totally letting him away with a tonne of shit because, hello, girl body when not really a girl is a totally good excuse when you lose your temper and just shoe Jacob Ben Israel into a locker face first). But Finn grins and then grabs Puck's slim, tiny wrist and pulls him closer. Puck thinks he's going for a hug, but that's blown out of the water when Finn slides a hand along Puck's jaw and tips his head up and-
Finn kissed him.
Finn just kissed him.
His brain is busy processing that fact that he doesn't realise he's sort of kissing back, and that he's let Finn angle them and press Puck onto a desk, legs parting to allow Finn between his thighs. Puck realises that Finn is still kissing him when Finn's massive hand curves around Puck's smaller hip and pulls him up against Finn's hips. Puck has to raise a hand to push Finn back by the shoulder, pulling their mouths apart and catching his breath because, shit, Finn just kissed him. And he was sort of into it.
Finn doesn't seem to realise that Puck's having a bit of a hard time getting where this is coming from, his hand trailing from Puck's hip to his back, even as Finn presses his hips into Puck's and the nerves fire some kind of pleasure through Puck that make him buck up into it with a gasp. Finn's lips attach to Puck's throat his head tilts back in his hips jerk up, half directed by Finn's hold on his back and Puck is just lost.
Because wasn't Finn freaking out? This really doesn't feel like freaking out. In fact, this feels like the exact opposite of freaking out. "Wait, Finn, stop."
"Is it too fast? It's okay, we can slow down, I think," yeah, it's a little fast, since Puck doesn't even think he knows what race they're fucking running here. "It's just, seriously, you're so fucking hot." Finn presses his hips up again and Puck feels the rather startling evidence that yeah, Finn thinks he's hot. But Puck knew that, from the ass staring and the bright smiles. He really didn't think it would translate into making out and humping in the resource room.
"Yeah, I know, but you remember who I am, right?" Because he's not just some chick, he's not just another girl who'll fall for the Hudson charm, he's not just some Cheerio trying to bag the Quarterback. He's Puck. And Finn must've forgotten this at some point between the ass staring and the fact that Beiste doesn't want Puck playing football until this is sorted out (which sucks, but fair enough because one run in with Azimio might actually crush Puck right now).
"Yeah, I thought we covered that?" Apparently Puck missed that part, but Finn seems convinced and Puck kind of misses the whole making out thing so he doesn't stop when Finn goes in for another kiss. His knees end up gripping to Finn's hips while he was pressed down into the desk with Finn's mouth attached to his and it's definitely better than attending Sports Nutrition.
The weirdest thing is that it all feels totally normal. He chills with Finn and plays video games just like always, he hangs out with Britt and Santana and it's like he's always done it, except when Lord Tubbington passes comment and Brittany gets a little strange but San says that's totally normal too. Glee isn't different at all, he still partners with Santana because they work, his voice is only slightly different and Rachel pretty much kidnapped him one day to make sure he knew how to work around the slight change and that was fine. Schue did make him participate in a girls versus boys as a member of the girl team though, which was met with disdain from both Puck and Kurt.
So, everything was easy. Including the way Finn would end up kissing him when they were alone. And it started to go beyond kissing, because Finn's hands were pretty big and Puck noticed that they sort of felt pretty good running over his ribs and up to cup his boobs through his bra. And Finn was pretty handsy, which Puck could understand since he'd dated Quinn and Rachel, and Puck was all for figuring out this body.
"Can I?" Finn looked at him expectantly, one afternoon, lying out on Finn's floor after having played Call of Duty for a few hours. Puck's legs are spread around Finn's hips, Finn kneeling between them and his fingers toying with the buttons of Puck's shirt as he asks the question. He knows he should say no, to keep it just to kissing before it gets out of control, but he just ends up nodding and letting Finn slip the buttons out of his shirt and push the fabric away from Puck's chest. "Seriously Puck? No bra?"
"They're totally annoying, okay." And it's true, when he's not at school or going out he just doesn't bother and it didn't seem like a big deal when he went over to Finn's and now it seems like the best idea ever because Finn definitely appreciates the lack of bra. It's sort of endearing the way Finn sort of doesn't really know what he's doing, the way Puck has to tell him not to bite so hard, or to do what he just did again, or just direct him to where his hand is meant to go. And Finn seems to be a good study when it comes to this.
Especially when Puck's three and a half weeks into being a girl, has given his first blow job and Finn's fingers have pretty much memorised the way to make Puck scream and shake apart. Puck realises that they're in trouble the first time Finn slings his arm around Puck's shoulders and whispers something into his ear before going away to class. Puck realises that they are in massive amounts of trouble because Finn just pulled a 'boyfriend' move which means the line between getting off with a friend and becoming a relationship has blurred and Finn's forgetting that Puck is usually a boy. With boy parts.
It complicates things. Not only because Finn's getting too comfortable with it, but because Puck is as well. He hadn't actually noticed how fine he was with being a girl, because he was going to turn back into a boy, so getting attached to being a girl was just a disaster trying to happen. Getting that through to Finn though, well, that was harder.
"What do you mean?"
"Okay, the easiest way to put this is, if we were dating, this would be me breaking up with you." Because they aren't dating, but they need to stop doing all the stuff that people who are dating do. Like make out and have almost sex.
"But, I thought we were fine."
"We are, we were, that's the problem." Because Finn is comfortable, and Puck's pretty sure they're approaching relationship territory and he really needs to stop that before it happens. "It's better for us, so, no more hanging out until I'm a guy again. However long that takes. It's just, it's better."
"Why?" Finn's just sitting there on the end of his bed, looking like a dejected puppy and Puck hates to have to be this blunt but there's no other way.
"Because, when I have a dick again, do you really think you're still going to want me?" And that's getting a little too close to something Puck doesn't need examining. "You never wanted me before I had boobs, there's no reason why you'd want me when I don't." He can't stand there and argue the point with Finn, so he leaves, waves a goodbye to Carole -who honestly freaked out more about Puck's temporary gender change than his own mother did- and heads home to sulk in his room.
Not hanging out with Finn happens to suck more than Puck thought it might. He knew that this was definitely for the best, because he couldn't get used to things as a girl because he'd need to get unused to them again when he changed back, and he didn't need Finn rejecting him and wishing he was still a girl when that happened. It just fucking blew that he had to do it. He ended up hoping that he'd turn back to a boy almost straight after that just so that he didn't need to deal with Finn's pout at school.
One month and nineteen days after he turned into a girl, a whole two weeks after he'd 'broke up' with Finn, and Puck's good intentions are foiled by Rachel having strep throat. It wouldn't really be a big deal, except they're working on a group number in glee and Finn's having trouble with the steps and he really needs to work on it. And Rachel is his partner.
"Puckerman's the same size as Rachel just now, they can work together." It's exactly how he ends up with Finn, in the auditorium after school going over the same steps a million times.
"Seriously, how is this that difficult?"
"I just can't get the footing right."
"I know that, you keep kicking me. My shins are going to be purple."
"I'm sorry it's just-"
"No, okay, let's just go through the steps slowly and we'll figure it out." They get through the sequence a few times with it slowed down, doing it step by step without the speed in it to make it difficult. Gradually, Puck gets Finn to do it faster until they're almost at normal speed. Which is when trips over himself and falls into Puck.
Losing balance with a giant of a boy falling with you is never a good thing and Puck hits the stage floor without any padding and Finn follows him down, landing on top of him. Finn takes his time pushing up to his knees and hands, hovering over Puck and just watching him while Puck ignores the ache in the back of his head and soreness in his elbow.
"You okay?" Finn pushes up to kneel back, one hand resting on Puck's thigh, stroking in a slightly absent manner. It's the way Finn's staring at him, like he doesn't really care that he just toppled them both to the floor, it makes Puck nod rather than shout at Finn for being a doofus. He ends up just lying there when Finn leans over him, hand still on his thigh, pulling until Finn is once again pressed between Puck's legs. It seems to be just the way they end up these days, and Puck is so okay with it that it is not okay. "Sorry," Finn doesn't look sorry at all, least of all as his hand strokes down to Puck's knee, bending his leg up and then running back to Puck's ass, "I know what you said but," it's definitely the whole being a girl thing that makes his heart stutter a little and his gut clench and his tongue dart out to wet his lips, Puck's sure of it.
Whatever it is, when Finn leans down to kiss him, Puck just meets him in the kiss and sighs into it. Yeah, he's in trouble, because two weeks and he missed this. The way Finn's hand strokes up his side, slipping under his shirt, the way their hips rock together, the way Finn just engulfs him with his body. There's absolutely no way around how seriously fucked he is, and it's not even in the good way.
He doesn't stop it when Finn's hand slips under his shirt, he doesn't stop it when his fingers thread into the back of Finn's hair, doesn't stop it when his shirt is off and Finn's follows, doesn't stop it when pants are coming off, doesn't stop it when Finn's fishing in his wallet for a condom, he doesn't even stop it when Finn slips between his legs again, pressing his condom covered cock into Puck and pretty much cementing just how screwed they are. It's completely different from anything else but sort of similar to the times that Finn got his hand in Puck's pants, only not.
"Fuck," and feeling that, the way Finn thrusts up into him, the way his body tightens around Finn and the coiling of now familiar heat, the way he arches up and presses down, it's all new and exciting and fucking good. His hands just hold to Finn's shoulder as his body rocks in time with the pace Finn sets and it's completely out of the ordinary for him to be passive like this during sex but it feel so good, especially when Finn pushes himself up on his elbow to work his other hand down between Puck's legs and rub at his clit. "Finn, Christ." Puck lets his orgasm just flow through him, hips bucking and muscles tightening and Finn's groaning against his neck a few seconds later.
They just lie there on the hard floor and Puck wonders just how much this is going to change them now. Because yeah, he had girl orgasms and they were good, but now he's been fucked and it's a little scary just how much he liked that and Puck's pretty sure this whole being a girl thing isn't meant to be this scary a month and a half into it. He's supposed to freak out at the start and ease into it. Not towards the end, or what he hopes is the end.
"You're crushing me." He doesn't want to talk about it, he never talks about feelings or explains anything, not after sex. Hell, he doesn't talk about feelings period. It's a little awkward, getting up and getting dressed and not letting Finn talk to him. But Finn being the dork he is just doesn't let that happen. As Puck's pulling on his shoes, bent over to tuck the laces in the side of his boots, Finn just comes up behind him, grabbing a hold of his hips and pressing into his butt. "Dude,"
"Don't even, Puck, c'mon. It's good, worry about changing later." Puck just pulls away, turning around and feeling those familiar stinging of tears because apparently, as a girl, he doesn't have the ability to just not cry.
"No, okay. I can't just not worry about it because I'm the one that needs to deal with it. You can just move on and find another girl or whatever, but I'm the one with the stupid feelings because of a stupid body that I don't even want." He's more prone to just blurting things out rather than glaring and sulking somewhere else, he's more prone to outbursts rather than keeping it in, he's really hating just how prone he is to actually thinking about his feelings and just what that's led him to discover.
"You think this doesn't change things for me? I just let you fuck me, Finn. I'm not a girl, I just look like one right now, and I'm gonna be a boy again and this is all still going to have happened. And you might be able to just shrug it off and say it's fine because I was a chick, but I can't, because I'm a boy."
"But you're not right now, so it's fine right?" Puck just shakes his head.
"And when I am a boy? What then?"
"Well, it won't be like this, will it? We'll go back to playing football and just hanging out." Finn just shrugs his shoulders, "It's just, like, well, this is good, because you're not all like a girl and stuff, but you are. But you're like, easy." Puck can't believe that he does it, but he just hauls off and slaps Finn across the face.
"Seriously, I totally get why Rachel gets pissed off at you." Puck couldn't even look at Finn right then, because he was seriously going to whale on the guy if he did. It hurt way more hearing that Finn just thought he was easy than being called a whore when he was a guy. Because he knew he was a bit of a whore, really. But it was different with this other body, because Puck wasn't just throwing it around like he might've, because chicks were right, it was different. There was something about giving it up and Puck felt like shit for the stuff he'd pulled with some chicks just to get laid. And the fact that his chest fucking clenched when Finn called him easy? That just wasn't good at all.
He's always known that he cared about Finn. Finn was his boy, and poor judgement aside with the Quinn thing, Puck has always considered Finn his closest and best friend. Really, all the stuff that happened when Finn joined glee, it was because Finn didn't just tell him. He lied, he made up excuses, he couldn't just say that he was joining glee because he liked to sing. It would've probably meant that some of the shit that happened would've never happened, but they can't exactly take it back.
So figuring out, somewhere along the line, probably while he was a girl, he managed to actually fall for that stupid Hudson charm, well, Puck's not super enthused with the whole thing. Because he's already gone through the whole 'in love and can't have them' thing with Quinn, he doesn't exactly need to go through it with Finn. Maybe him, Hummel and Berry can sit down with a tub of ice cream and lament about their shitty life. So, not only can he not have Finn because he'll turn back into a boy eventually and Finn only wants this while Puck's a girl, but it's only made worse by the fact that Finn's probably only doing it because he thinks Puck is just an easy lay. It's sort of ideal, isn't it. Puck isn't going to be a girl forever and Finn doesn't really need to put the work in.
Puck can't believe he's actually stupid enough to fall in love with someone he can't have. Twice.
It isn't made any easier by the fact that Finn keeps trying to talk to him; in the hall ways, in Spanish, in glee, at Rachel's when she has another party, at the mall when they sort of meet. Quinn seems to notice that Puck is trying to avoid Finn and sort of runs interference, and Puck is so fucking grateful for it, really. But then he sort of owes her, and Puck thinks she's a little too evil in her method of collecting.
"Really, he's a great guy."
"So why are you trying to get me to go on a date with him?" Quinn first got a hold of him at first period, then tried again at lunch and now that they're in glee he doesn't exactly have any way to avoid the conversation. "Why do people keep forgetting that I'm a guy and not really a girl?" He's hoping that he doesn't hit the two month mark, because then he'll be pushing towards the longer period of time as a girl -the longest was a chick in Anaheim who was a guy for three and a half months. Puck would like to not be the new record holder.
"Because, I don't care who he dates, I just want to go out on one date with his friend." So, Quinn met this guy at her church, he's sweet and funny and cute, he doesn't go to McKinley so he's not privy to all the gossip and Quinn wants at least one date with him. But he has this friend, and Quinn can't get a date with the boy she wants unless there's someone to go on a date with his friend. For some reason, Puck's that 'girl'. "Seriously, think about it, we don't need to tell him that you're just a temporary girl, we don't need to mention who you really are, it'll just be one date, free food and you can ignore all the other stuff." Quinn gives a side look towards Finn and Puck wonders just how much she actually knows.
"God, fine." He's doing it because he owes her, he's doing it because he wants to make sure she's not going out with some serial killer, he's doing it because it might actually be kind of fun to not worry about what someone is thinking and just pretend that life is normal for a few hours. Even if that means going on a double date with Quinn as some girl for her prospective new boyfriend's friend.
Of course it's not that simple. Because when glee finishes up, Puck can't just leave, he really wants to but his stupid Spanish book is in his locker and he needs to go back for it. He's going to blame Mr Schue and his stupid tests for giving Finn that chance, because apparently one chance is all Finn needs. Puck's busy making sure that all his notes are in his book when Finn grabs him at the elbow and Puck's suddenly in the resource room all over again and he just has no idea how that happened.
"You're going on a date?" It wasn't like Puck didn't know that Finn was listening, hell, Mercedes and Kurt were listening too, (Kurt was even going over to Quinn's house before the date so that he could style their hair and Puck was just going with it at this stage) but Puck didn't expect Finn to actually approach Puck about it.
"No, I'm doing a favour for a friend. I just happens to include a boy and a free meal. But hey, I'm easy, he probably doesn't even need that." Puck's just a little annoyed, and he'd been doing pretty good at avoiding Finn to stop from getting annoyed out loud, but that just didn't seem like it was going to happen.
"Seriously? You're pissed off about that?"
"Why the hell shouldn't I be? You pretty much just called me an easy lay and expect me to handle that? If it was Santana you'd have fucking claw marks, I think I'm holding back pretty good." And he wasn't overly happy with all the girl reactions, he wasn't even all that happy with the girl mood swings either, but they happened and he was dealing, just like he was dealing with everything else. Puck was just hoping that once he turned back to his normal self he'd be able to handle things all over again. That he'd be able to put the girl stuff behind him and just work on not feeling the stupid feelings.
"So what, you're just going to go out and let some guy fawn all over you because he thinks you're a girl? You keep telling me how you're not a girl and you're sick of being treated like you are and you're going out on a date?"
"Oh, fuck you, asshat. Quinn asked for a favour, and yeah, I'm in a chick’s body right now so whatever, I might as well get something out of this. And since people are all 'go and have girl experiences' or whatever, I might as well do the whole date thing, because hey, it's the first time I've been asked." He's seriously starting to get pissed off at Finn, because it's not even a case of someone thinking he's a girl, it's just someone not treating him like he's different all of a sudden. It's not like he plans on calling the guy, or seeing him again. It's just one favour for Quinn to let her see if she really wants to date this guy she likes.
"You want him to make you feel special? Take you out and moon over you and how pretty you are?" Finn gets right up in Puck's space, forcing Puck backwards until he hits one of the stacks. It's not that he's intimidated by Finn, not really, but he's tiny compared to Finn and that's a first, because even when he was shorter, he still had a decent build to his shoulders to make up for the few inches between them. "You gonna let him make you feel wanted? Huh?" Finn shoves a knee between Puck's thighs, high enough that Puck needs to rise up onto his tiptoes, hand automatically reaching out for Finn's arm to steady himself. "Is that what you want?" Finn's mouth is suddenly right against Puck's ear, his words hissed against Puck's neck as a hand works between them, cupping between Puck's legs and pressing up. "Would you let him kiss you? Let him touch you? Like this? Like you let me?" Puck hisses out a breath as Finn's fingers press into the seam on his jeans, rubbing up against his underwear and shit, he shouldn't be letting this happen. But Finn's hand runs back and forth over the line in his jeans, rubbing up against his crotch and Puck can't stop himself from pressing back into it.
It's just the roughness of it, that has to be what it is; the raw way that his pants and underwear rub against him, the way Finn's voice sounds against his ear, the firm press of Finn's chest and hips and leg, forcing Puck to stay just where he is. That's all it is, nothing else. But Finn's hand moves to open Puck's jeans, pulling them open and slipping is hand inside, down the front and pushing the panties aside to slip two fingers right in and Puck just bites his lip to contain the moan.
"This what you want? This what you're needing, Puck?" It's the first time that Finn's actually used his name during this, the first time that Finn's really been all that forceful and not treating him like some delicate little girl. Puck's not sure what that means. He doesn't rightly care when Finn's fingers curl up inside him and press deep, coaxing Puck into rocking back on his fingers and trying to get a rhythm, trying to get Finn to do something. "C'mon Puck, is this what you want? You want me to get you off? Want me to make you feel good?"
Puck could just push Finn away, tell him to go fuck himself, because Puck can do that for himself. But he sort of doesn't want to, which is absolutely his reason for whining and trying again, just to see if he could get Finn to just stop being a bastard and fuck him already. But Finn doesn't, he presses up deeper, pushing Puck's hips back into the stacks behind him and holding him in place while his thumb presses over Puck's clit and that's enough to bring out the low moan. Pressing his cheek against Finn's, gasping at the shift of Finn's fingers again, Puck just breaks.
"Yes, fuck, Finn please." The change is almost instant; Finn moving to press their mouths together, his fingers stroking along Puck's inside, thumb finding some abnormal pattern to rub into Puck's clit and his own erection grinding into Puck's hip. Somehow, Puck ends up just gasping into Finn's mouth, fingers bruising marks into Finn's arms as he clings on and rides Finn's fingers until that wave just pulses through him and he's shuddering against Finn. It doesn't take much more and Finn is groaning against Puck's neck and jerking and Puck knows that Finn is going to be feeling uncomfortable soon, but the Quarterback doesn't pull back too quickly.
He takes his time extracting his hand from Puck's pants, and he definitely makes a point of pressing against Puck's still sensitive nerves as he does so, the same way he totally meant to bite that mark into Puck's throat. But there's no hasty retreat from either of them this time, and Puck's not even sure if he could stand on his own right now anyway.
"Don't go on the date." Finn's words are mumbled into Puck's collarbone, even as they both catch their breath.
"I promised Quinn." And he sort of only wants to make sure she doesn't hate him, really. He's only doing it for Quinn. "Nothing's going to happen, Finn. It's just a favour for Quinn." He has no idea why he has to convince Finn of that, no idea why he needs Finn to understand that, no idea why Finn actually cares, but it's falling back into that 'dating' territory and Puck should be trying to get them away from it.
The double date isn't a disaster or anything, but Puck's pretty sure he makes it clear that he's only there to help Quinn out and that he's not looking to start a relationship. Quinn hits it off pretty good with her date and Noah just makes up a bunch of shit about being from out of town and just having a nice night out with his cousin -which was what Quinn decided they'd be, while he was visiting. He opts to take a cab home, letting Quinn go for a walk with her date, although she needs to text him when she gets home herself and Puck just goes off. And yeah, it's sort of nice going out and not being treated like a dude for one night, but he definitely could not do that all the time.
He finds Finn already in his room when he gets home, just waiting there and then staring when Puck shuts the door behind him. His mother has no idea that Finn's there, which means Finn climbed up the side of his house, which is just a little too Sweet Valley High in Puck's opinion but whatever. "That's what you wore?" Puck's in skinny jeans, a tank-top and a vest shirt. Kurt picked it. His hair is just a mess because apparently bedhead looked good on him and there is just the tiny hint of make up around his eyes because Puck refused anything else. He really doesn't see anything wrong with it.
"What? You don't like it?" Stupidest question ever. Because who cares if Finn likes it? It's not staying. Seriously, Puck needs to start this 'not caring about him' bullshit before he turns back into a boy, so that he's at least got a head start on things, and this is not helping him. He blames the girl body, because obviously it can't handle feelings the same way a boy does. "Whatever, it's what Kurt picked out."
Puck moves to his desk, connecting his phone to the charger just as Quinn texts him to let him know she's home all safe and sound and to thank him for being a good friend and stuff. Puck just texts her back that it's fine and they're even and he puts his cell on to charge. He doesn't hear Finn moving until he's right behind him. Finn just presses against Puck's back, hand running down his spine and then across his back and around to his stomach, pulling Puck's ass back flush to Finn's crotch. "I spent the whole night wondering about your date. I was going out of my mind, so I thought I'd come over." Puck's hair is pushed to the side, letting Finn lean down to nip slightly at his throat. "Then I see you wearing this? No way he didn't try something, not with how your ass looks in these." It's like he's proving a point, the way he rubs his hips into Puck's ass, hand spread over Puck's stomach and stroking softly. "What did you tell him?"
"I was Quinn's out of town cousin. Just visiting." And the thing is, nothing happened. The guy didn't have Puck's real name or number. There was no point.
"So he's never going to see you again? That's a little cruel." Seriously? Finn's the one getting all territorial and possessive about the whole thing and Puck's the one being cruel? More to the point, what does it even matter to Finn? "Giving him this taste and not even thinking about letting him see you again." No, really, Finn was the one being an ass about this before, what the hell is going on. Puck pushes Finn back using his shoulder, frowning as he turns around and crosses his arms over his chest -it's still weird having the boobs right there.
"Okay, I know I'm the chick here right now, and I'm meant to be the confusing one, but seriously, I don't get you." At first Finn's treating him like he's just a bro, with boobs. Then they went way too close to the relationship line. Then they had sex even though Puck had told Finn no more hanging out until he was a boy because they were heading towards that. Then Finn's all jealous and shit about a date and now he's telling Puck he's a tease or something? "Why can't you just stay away like I said?" Finn has issues with certain directions.
"You don't want men to, come on, you know you don't." Finn moves in closer and Puck has to take a step back, except his desk is right there and it halts him. "We covered this, right? I kinda want to hear you say my name like you did the last time." And Puck feels his body responding to it, to Finn being that close and all the implications, but he really needs to hold his ground this time if he ever wants to get his life back to 'normal'.
"Finn," he presses his open hand to Finn's chest, pushing him back, "get your ass out of my room and don't even talk to me until I say so." Finn seems a little taken aback at it, and Puck might be a little too blunt, but at this point he might need to be.
But Finn leaves, and Puck tells himself it's just a matter of time; he'll be himself again soon, he'll just be who he was before, things will go back to normal. He only really sees Finn in Spanish and in glee and they don't even talk to each other. It's all entirely reminiscent of the Beth thing and Puck finds that he doesn't even care. Finn gets Mike and Sam, they just sort of gravitate to him and Puck's fine with that, because he has Britt and San, and strangely enough he gets Rachel, Kurt and Quinn too. Kurt seems unwilling to pick between his step-brother and Puck, except he sort of picks Puck in private because Puck is initiated into 'girl’s night' to get a manicure from Kurt for his horrifying cuticles.
Apparently, Kurt sees more than anyone thinks.
"I know that you think this is for the best, but do you really think you should throw away your friendship with Finn over an uncontrollable gender change? It's going to revert, what if patching things up isn't as easy?" Kurt brings it up while they're alone in the bathroom, Kurt putting some treatment through Puck's hair to help condition it. "You worked pretty hard to mend things after all."
"That's not what it's about." Puck figures that Kurt's seen something, not everything, but he's noticed a few things at least, that much is clear. "And it is best." Maybe not for Finn, not directly, but it definitely is better for Puck.
"It's not about Finn staring at your ass all the time? I mean, I get if that might weird you out a little, you are still a guy, but-"
"It's more than that, okay Kurt. It's more and it's stupid and it just needs to stop." Because Finn will be a little upset when the girl he's got the hots for is a guy again, but he'll just have the hots for another girl later. But Puck will have these stupid feelings and he'll be the one struggling because Finn will still be Finn and it will suck for him. He doesn't need to fall in love with his best friend and have a sexual identity crisis all at once. Least of all when that best friend is never going to feel the same way, because the only reason anything happened was because he was a girl.
Kurt doesn't say anything while he washes whatever it was he put in Puck's hair, he just works quietly and Puck just tries to half enjoy the feeling of the scalp massage and let the conversation go.
"You- did you- have you slept with him?" Puck's pretty sure his blush and inability to meet Kurt's eye is enough of an answer and Kurt proves that with his slight gasp and staring. "Oh, my god. When did, how was, why-"
"It happened once, well, the sex. But he kissed me and shit happened and it went on for a while before he started treating me like his girlfriend and then I told him to back off. But yeah, we had sex and it was stupid and I didn't mean it but-"
"But you love him. Oh God Puck," Kurt's somewhat sympathetic and somewhat pitying, which is understandable because he's been a boy with a crush on Hudson, so logically, if anyone would understand it, Kurt would. "Does he know?"
"No. It's too hard to explain to him. Just trying to tell him why we shouldn't hang out or whatever was hard enough." Finn either didn't want to get it or just didn't get it. Why things might be hard on Puck, and Puck seriously hoped it was that Finn didn't get it and not that he didn't care, cause that would suck.
"Honestly, I didn't really think things would be hard on you. I mean, you seemed to deal with it surprisingly well." After the first week or so, Puck just got on with things; he was healthy, he was fit, he just had boobs and a vagina instead of a dick, things would go back in their own time. He decided there was no point making things harder for himself, so he got over it and got on with it. Finn was the only thing that really made shit difficult. "I actually thought you'd be the sort to enjoy it."
"Kind of," Puck shrugged a shoulder, wringing out his hair and twisting it into a spiral before wrapping it into a bun and slipping on the band to keep it in place; it was long enough that it annoyed him, but not long enough that he'd given into the impulse to just cut it off. He didn't know what that would do to his hair, and he didn't want a mohawk with a patch missing. "At first I had a few moments of freaking out, but it's just gonna do its own thing. Right? What would you have done?"
"Me? Probably spent the whole time locked in my closet crying."
And Hummel knowing, it's a little easier. Like when Finn makes these abortive moves to talk to him, or glares at one of the guys in school who hits on him because they forget who the fuck he is, Kurt is the one who's there and stops Puck from being a push over and talking to Finn. And on the morning he turns back, three months, nine days and seven hours after he first woke up a girl, Kurt is the first person he calls, to celebrate his returning body.
Sarah freaks out, she's like ecstatic or something because having a sister totally stopped being cool one month into it. His Ma is pretty happy too, because things can go back to normal, but she still says he needs to go to school. There are more stares than when he was a girl and Rachel and Kurt just meet him at his locker with huge grins. He's the exact same, appearance wise as he was before the change; hair the same length, nails ragged -much to Kurt's distaste- his guns are the same, it's all normal. He does hit out with things that feel a little 'girlish' but he totally blames that on being BFF's with Britt and San for three months.
But Kurt's still there to be like, back up or whatever. Finn tries to reason that since Puck isn't a girl anymore he'd get his panties out of a wad and come over to Mike's for games night. Kurt is the one who says Noah has plans with him and Rachel. Rachel just nods and Kurt looks smug, so Puck doesn't argue. His plans end up being another shopping trip -oddly on Kurt again- to get Noah better clothes, because now that he's lived three months as a girl, apparently he's meant to care. Puck tries to tell them that he doesn't but he ends up leaving the mall with new jeans, new shirts and some shit he found in the thrift store that he flat out told Kurt he was buying.
Rachel ditches them after that for her game night with her Dads and Puck is somehow convinced to let Kurt give him another manicure to fix his nails. Seriously, being a chick has thrown him off his game.
"So, you're a boy again."
"Still in love with Finn?"
"Yup." As much as Puck had hoped it would just turn off, it was still there. This infuriating knowledge of Finn's mouth and hands and fingers and everything. How he was a dork but it was sort of adorable and how he got all possessive and jealous and that was a bit of a turn on, and Puck hated that it still affected him. Hated that he cared, hated that Finn didn't, hated that this was something he needed to deal with. "And it sucks."
Puck made three weeks before Finn got to him again. He ended up hanging out with Hummel more, and the kid was pretty cool in his own right, it meant he was okay friends with Rachel and Mercedes too, Tina and Artie by extension sometimes, and the kids weren't all that bad or anything. But it did mean he was over at Kurt's place a lot, usually he didn't even see Finn, because Rachel had said something to him and Finn was avoiding Puck. So that was fine. Except that one day, when Puck was leaving, Finn was coming home and they almost collided at the door. There's this moment, this one barely there moment where Puck's angled against the wall and Finn's in front of him and Finn's eyes dart down to Puck's lips and it almost looks like he's moving towards him. But then Puck comes to his senses and pushes past Finn and out the door and heads home.
But that sticks with him. That one look that Finn shoots to his lips just sticks there in his mind.
Then he catches Finn staring at his ass, and what the hell? Seriously, was Finn smoking pot before class or something? Staring at Puck's lips, and his ass, and what? Was this him trying to figure out where that chick he'd boned had gone or something? But Puck tried to be as much of an asshole as he could be, just to make the point that he was not some girl any more, he was his dude self again and Finn needed to stop messing with his head.
Like in glee, when everyone is trying to help Finn through a few moves, and he just keeps messing it up, and Mike's tried showing him, and Rachel's tried walking him through it, and Sam and Quinn have demonstrated it but Finn just doesn't get it and Puck just loses it. "Bend your fucking knees," it's not the best way to do things, but it's Puck's way, so he just presses his knee into the back of Finn's left thigh, pressing on the muscle and jerks Finn down with a jolt but forces him into the step sequence at the same time. Puck earns himself a stern look from Schue and a glare from Finn, but it gets the fucking job done.
Everything ends up weird after a football training session where Puck almost tears his hamstring and Finn is the one lumped with helping a sore and frustrated and limping Puck back home. His Ma is out, Sarah has some weird princess thing going on and Puck just limps to the living room to collapse on the sofa, hissing when his leg jars. Finn goes through to the kitchen raiding the freezer for peas before coming back into the living room and just pulling Puck's good leg off the sofa to place the peas underneath his sore leg. And then he freezes, just standing there, half hunched over, between Puck's legs. It is a case of deja vu in some ways, yes, but Puck would like Finn to remember he is a boy again and to kindly fuck off.
"Thanks for the help, you know where the door is." Finn just straightens up, crossing his arms over his chest.
"You know what I don't understand?" And really, Puck could be a total dick and point out all the things that he knows Finn doesn't understand, but he chooses to just glare instead. "Why, now that you're back to normal, you're still being a little bitch." Oh yeah, that was definitely the way to go with things. "I mean, you've been you for a while now, so the mood swings should've stopped and the chick crap should be done, so why the hell won't you just come and hang out with us?"
"Finn, I seriously do not have the energy or the emotional will to do this with you right now. I'm in pain, I'm cranky and I'm tired. Just," he gets that he might be a little unstable, he's got good reason to be, he was offered a damn psychiatrist on the Governments dime because he might be a little messed up from this shit. But Finn could at least try and understand where he's coming from. "Could you just leave? Please?"
He just closes his eyes and hopes that he'll fall asleep, that he'll wake up when his Ma comes home and she'll be all awesome and stuff and take care of his leg. But Finn doesn't leave and Puck gets tired of waiting for him to give up and just piss off. He's about to open his eyes and bitch the guy out when Finn suddenly bends over, leaning on the arm of the sofa, hand beside Puck's head and moving in with focus and determination. Puck's about to ask him what the fuck he thinks he's doing when Finn kisses him.
It's not just lips pressing against lips, Finn isn't just trying this out with Puck as a boy. Finn kisses him the same way he kissed him while under the gender change, Finn nips at his lip slightly and presses his tongue past Puck's lips when he gasps a little and leans into Puck to have a better angle. And Puck lets him, because he just needs to face it, Puck would probably let Finn do anything at this point. Finn doesn't exactly push for much, they just kiss until breathing becomes a necessity again and Finn finally pulls back slightly. Puck doesn't really know what to say, he's honestly stumped and he just sort of stares at Finn, licking his lips and staring because Puck is a boy again and Finn just kissed him.
Finn removes any need to talk when he just turns around and walks out.
Puck figures it's a good thing, right? Finn will understand now the reason why they need some distance and that'll be that. Since Finn was the one who kissed Puck it will be more reasonable; because Finn doesn't kiss boys, Puck is a boy, the fact that Puck was a girl for a while, that's what threw Finn off. They just need some space, and time, that's all. Which is what Finn seems to give him, nothing but space, because even when they're in the same room, Finn's at the opposite end of it and doesn't even look at Puck. He even pretends that Puck doesn't exist in glee. It sort of sucks, but Puck's pretty sure it'll work out better. It'll give Puck the opportunity to get rid of these feelings and then they can pretend the last four months never happened.
He's pretty sure that his plans would work if Finn would stop making his own plans and following through on them and messing up Puck's plans. Because two weeks after Finn kissed Puck in his living room, Finn's climbing in Puck's window in the middle of the night and Puck is grateful that his mother is working night shift and Sarah is at their aunts (because Puck might be able to take care of himself but he's likely to let Sarah stay off school if she so much as sneezes). Finn is so noisy that Puck's surprised the neighbours haven't come out to figure out what the hell is going on.
"Dude," Finn falls inside the room, foot catching on the window ledge, and Puck just sits up in bed and glares, "what the fuck is wrong with you?" Finn pulls himself up and looks at the window then the floor and then over to Puck, and it's the first time in two weeks that Puck can say Finn's actually looked at him, as far as Puck knows. "Why are you slamming into my room at three in the morning?" Because that was not sneaking.
"I uh, I couldn't sleep. And I've been thinking a lot. It's just, well, man I'm really confused okay, and I know I'm like being weird and stuff but I can't help it. These things just keep happening and I just keep thinking this stuff and it's hard, okay." Right, Finn being his illogical self at three in the morning is totally going to fuck Puck's head up mega style. But it's not like he can just throw the asshole out, much as he'd like to.
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"You. And me. And when you were a girl, and the stuff we did. I keep thinking about it, and I'm," if Finn is about to tell Puck that he wishes Puck was still a girl, Puck is going to throw him out of the window and then lock it. He doesn't give a shit about the damage or the cops getting called or whatever, he will do it. "I'm just trying to figure out why I still want to do it, you know, when you're not a girl."
"Oh my God, you are exhausting." It definitely wasn't what Puck expected, although he knew that Finn's little freak out was definitely indirectly linked to what he let happen while he was a girl. "Look, don't worry about it, it'll go away. You just need to find another girl to take your mind off things. Theresa Gibbons, she's totally into you and currently single, ask her out tomorrow and you'll forget all about it, okay?" Puck gets up from his bed, intending on dragging Finn downstairs and sending him home. He gets as far as pushing Finn at the elbow before Finn pulls away and turns to face Puck.
"That's not- I don't, I mean." Finn just shakes his head, "You kissed me back." They're just standing there, Finn fully dressed and a little ruffled from falling in the window, Puck in nothing but his boxers. And it's not like Finn's being accusing, not really, he's just pointing out that Puck did in fact kiss him back, and yeah, he did. But that wasn't the point.
"Finn, just leave it, okay? Just-" Puck doesn't get any further as Finn moves in, hand grabbing behind Puck's head to pull him into a kiss and keep him there. It's the same thing; Finn pressing for the deepest, wettest, practically the dirtiest kiss he possibly can and Puck just sinks into it. He's always enjoyed kissing, it's not exactly difficult for him to shut off his brain and let it happen. It just becomes easier when Finn's hand slides over his ribcage, pulling them close enough that Puck can feel the fabric of Finn's shirt against his chest and their knees bump. And Finn has to know what he's doing because there's no way he can mistake Puck for a girl now. Puck's just letting his hands rest on Finn's hips, he can't bring himself to pull Finn closer or want more, because he's not sure he could handle that fall out on top of everything else. But Finn's just confusing him with this. "What're you doing?" He needs to ask it when they break apart, Finn's lips a little swollen and his own feeling the same, but Puck just has to ask.
"Kissing you. I thought that was obvious."
"Cute, Hudson. Why?" Finn's hand is still slipping over Puck's ribs, moving back to trailing his fingers down the knots of Puck's spine, barely there and almost making Puck arch towards Finn at the tingle.
"Because, I want to. I- it doesn't matter about- I mean, it," Finn's never been the most eloquent guy, he's never even been the most coherent either. Puck doesn't know why that's suddenly 'cute' and not 'annoying' like always. "I just want to keep trying it. I mean, I know, we're both guys, and it might be a little gay, but, I don't want to just go kiss some girl. I wanna kiss you."
God, how did all this shit get so complicated? Puck had no idea why Finn couldn't just fall head over ass for Quinn or Rachel again, at least then he'd be focusing on that and not turning Puck's head and heart inside out and complicating everything with his stupid dorky endearing qualities. Finn stepped in closer and there really was no space between them, his hand holding to the back of Puck's neck and the other sliding to his hip, Puck didn't pull away.
"C'mon, Puck, just let me kiss you some more."
So he does. Because it's so much easier than saying no again.