Characters: Noah 'Puck' Puckerman, Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson, Finn Hudson, Santana Lopez, ensemble
Pairing: Kurt/Puck, Blaine/Kurt
Warnings: Angst, mpreg, pregnancy angst
Spoilers: references through season 2, slight for season 3
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money. No affiliation.
A/N: from the glee_angst_meme, prompt here
Summary: Puck had a big confession prepared for Kurt on the night of Regionals in their junior year. But Kurt's non-confession sort of ruined that. So Puck was pregnant, and it was Kurt's, but Kurt was with Blaine. Puck didn't expect the drama that followed.
In the words of whatever stupid idiot said it (and yeah, he knows that's a double negative, thanks), karma is a bitch. He's pretty sure that's what this is, pretty sure that the cosmic whatever is royally pissing itself with laughter over this whole thing and he's just up a creak with no paddle and a fucking hole in the boat. It's stupid as fuck, but he probably deserves it.
Thing is, he was totally ready to like, commit or whatever. It's not like he was fucking around, he hadn't even thought about doing that shit in months (no really, he was sleeping with one person, for three months, no lie) and he's still not too fussed about it. Whatever kicked up between him and Kurt when he got out of juvie just sort of happened. It was cool, just two dudes hanging out at first, they worked on a glee project together and Kurt got Puck up to speed on the whole 'drama' that was going on. Everyone seemed to tiptoe around him on the whole Sam and Quinn thing, but seriously, Puck was over that shit. Somewhere, they went from hanging out to exchanging glances and then there were the jokes and the light touches and eventually (a week, a whole week after the flirting started) Puck just gave in and kissed Kurt.
Which, by the way, pretty awesome.
And it escalated pretty quickly, because he was a stud and Kurt barely got any action (make that no action) and they were both teenage boys, so yeah. He was kind of surprised to figure that he didn't mind having Kurt's cock in his mouth (and apparently it's rude to spit, so there was the whole swallow thing, and frankly, Kurt didn't taste bad at all) and he really didn't mind when he got to put his cock in Kurt; the boy was fucking wild, crazy sexy and had a pair of lungs on him that made Puck glad for the sound proofed basement. What had totally thrown him was when Kurt asked if he could top, what surprised him more than that was him not freaking the ever loving fuck out over it and saying yeah. And dude sex? Amazing from both ends.
So they were like, casual and stuff (if you can be casual when you're spending most of your time with one person and only having sex with said person), for three months. It worked really well in Puck's opinion, because they hung out and had sex and tolerated each other and Puck was down for it. No one knew, at least they hadn't told anyone, but Puck figured he was pretty into Kurt, especially since he was kind of interested in keeping things going when Kurt mentioned that he was transferring schools.
"Do you hate me for going?"
"No, you gotta be safe, that comes first. So, if you gotta go to this fancy prep school or whatever, then yeah. You gotta go." They still talked, and Puck didn't sleep with anyone while Kurt was at Dalton, and when he came back on the weekends, they tried to hook up when possible. Puck figured they were sort of dating, except without either of them saying it.
It's Regionals that proves him wrong. They're all sitting there, watching the Warblers perform and giving Kurt their support (and fyi, it's just Kurt) when it hits him right in the face, just watching them. See, he's done the whole side glances and longing looks and little smirks. He's been the recipient of those little 'bedroom eyes' from Kurt too. The really stupid thing is how he realises just how deep he was in this thing when the pain in his chest starts. Because he's not blind, okay, he may not have done that whole relationship thing like, ever, but he knew it when he saw it. Something was there, and Bland Boy and Kurt were just starting up and clearly Puck had read something wrong with him and Kurt.
So, he got the hint. Kurt wasn't going to meet him after the competition like he'd texted to ask about, Kurt wasn't going to listen to what Puck had to say and Puck had to just deal with that. Winning Regionals was a completely bitter and hollow win because Puck felt the wave of nausea come on and he just had to bite it back and pretend that he wasn't rejected for something better all over again. He spent the drive back to McKinley on the bus silent, with Lauren sitting next to him and Santana and Brittany in front of them, the three girls all singing the adrenaline rush off. Puck was just going over everything in his head and working out when he'd screwed this up by getting way more involved than he should've and not realising that Kurt was just blowing off steam before his Prince came along (the irony of the role reversal there isn't lost on Puck, except he was never waiting for any Prince).
In the end though, he can't take it. Because he's built it all up over the last week, he's thought it through and planned it out and fucking rehearsed it in his head a million times over and now he's just got to bottle it all back up again and try and figure out how to deal with it on his own. Except he can't, he can't just bury it back down because once he makes the conscious decision to do something, he actually needs to do it or he'll lose his fucking mind. His mother is out of the question, his sister is too young to dump this on, Rachel is too involved in the whole Blaine and Kurt thing for him to trust her with this and Santana is a no go with shit like this. So that leaves just one, and Puck ends up back at the Hudmel house even though he's there for the other step-sibling this time.
Finn's a little shocked when Puck climbs up and in his window (it's the first time Puck's done it in over a year, and yeah, he's aware his daughter turned one today. Karma, total bitch,) but he still let's Puck in and still lets Puck pace the floor and get his words in order and figure out what the hell he's trying to say and where to start. He decides the beginning is easiest.
"So, I've sort of been sleeping with Kurt for like, the whole semester. It wasn't like, planned or anything, shit just happened. And then you know, kept happening but whatever. It was good -not the sex well the sex was, but I'm not going to talk about that, but you know, hooking up and hanging out and just chilling that was all good. I mean I thought it was, but then he's all moving to Dalton and I just figured, y'know, we'd do it on weekends or I'd road trip up on long weekends, and we'd text or whatever, but God, he's making eyes at that curly haired wonderbrat and I'm seriously messed up and shit isn't going well. I mean I totally had a plan, okay. I had this stupid speech and this ridiculous apology, and really, he should be the one apologising because it was his fucking condom and seriously, this is not how junior year was meant to play out. I'm not equipped to deal with this -well I kinda am in all the wrong ways but that's hardly the point at this juncture of the-"
"Puck, dude," it's fairly evident that he's lost Finn somewhere in all the talking, and he realises he just word vomited all over the place but shit, this stuff has been bugging the fuck out of him for days now. "What're you trying to say?"
"I'm pregnant." The look he gets from Finn is somewhere between blank misinterpretation and utter horror (he's pretty sure that's a throw back from when Quinn said those exact words, but dude it's not like it's his baby so Puck doesn't get it) while he just sits there and doesn't move. "Seriously? Do you need a minute? I'm freaking out here!" He doesn't see why Finn gets to have this little brain melt down when Puck's been trying to figure out how to tell Kurt that he'd be cool with them maybe actually labelling whatever they were doing and, oh yeah, by the way, he's pregnant.
"No, I mean, it's just, I don't, how?" And yeah, fair question, it wasn't like Puck had actually heard about the whole 'male pregnancy' thing or whatever, but apparently certain males were victims of some hidden womb thing or whatever thanks to a pre-natal drug experiment a few years back and his ma had been one of the ones on it and surprise, Puck was one of the lucky guys who could get up the duff. He still hadn't told her that he was pregnant; he hadn't told her that he'd been doing a guy, and now she'd be all Jew guilt because it was her pre-natal shit that did it. Finn still doesn't follow. "Yeah, but how?"
"Do you want me to draw a diagram? Kurt and I fucked, I'm pregnant, can we get back to my freak out?" Is it too much to ask that he gets just twenty minutes to break down?
"Why are you telling me? Why not him? C'mon Puck, I mean, I sort of figured you were, y'know, doing something." Finn actually blushes at that. "Kurt's pretty cool like that, he'll stick by you."
"Do you have cotton in your ears?" Puck seriously cannot believe that they're going over this. "Kurt is into Blaine, and the Hobbit seems to finally have gotten over himself or whatever. He's all into Kurt too."
"Yeah, but you're-"
"I'm not gonna trap him with a kid," he's not, he's not telling Kurt that he's pregnant and that it's his, because Kurt wants Blaine and if Puck makes him stay with him just because there's a baby then no one will win. "Ma did that, look how that turned out of her and Dad." Puck refuses to turn into his parents, and if what Kurt wants is Blaine then fine, Puck'll do it on his own. "It's fine, it'll just be me and the kid and that's fine. It'll be easy to pass it off, y'know, no one will question me fucking around and it's not like me and Kurt talked about like being exclusive or whatever."
"Did you fuck aro-"
"No, okay. I didn't, but shit, come on. Everyone will think so." And it's totally pathetic and stuff, sure, he's being a pussy. But fuck, he's not even sure how he's meant to do this and shit. When Quinn was pregnant he was just worried about Finn hating him and the baby being safe and Quinn giving him a fucking chance to just help out. But this time it was him; he had the baby, he was going to be the, well the mom really, he got to make the decisions. He didn't know what they'd be though.
"What do you want to do?" Puck had to stop pacing the floor, had to sigh and just sit beside Finn on the bed. It was the first time in more than a year that he'd actually felt like he had his best friend there, and yeah, Finn wasn't the sharpest tool or even all that quick thinking, but he was a fucking bro. The fact that he even let Puck in the damn room after the bullshit of the last year?
"I don't know." He seriously has no idea what he wants. He knows that he wants the kid, stupid as it might be he cannot deal with giving up another kid, losing Beth was like a fucking knife in his chest for so long and he legit couldn't take it again. So he'd do it himself, yeah, and that'd be fine. Cause it'd be him and the kid and they'd be fine. Even if he never got out of Lima, he was pretty sure he never would, because this was where Beth would look, right? If or when she ever came to find her birth parents, when Shelby told her, she'd come to Lima and Puck wanted to be there. "I need to tell my ma. God, she's gonna flip out."
"You should tell Schue, I mean, I did, and he was really helpful, you know. And hey," Finn's hand patted awkwardly on Puck's shoulder, "I'm here, man. Like, whatever you need, okay?" And yeah, they could bust out the bro-hug and the awkward man love or whatever, but Puck just nodded, more than fucking grateful that he might actually get Finn back after all his fuck ups over the year and that? Well, shining fucking beacon and all that crap.
The great thing is, he doesn't need to deal with Kurt at school now. Seriously, it would fucking kill having to get the first months of this shit if he had to keep seeing Kurt and his perfect fucking choice. But Kurt and Blaine are all locked up in Dalton, safe and sound and making puppy love eyes at each other and Puck is spewing up his breakfast into the toilet after third period because morning sickness is a horrible, horrible lie and it happens whenever the hell it wants.
His estimate put him at almost three months, and yeah, sometimes chicks wouldn't know yet or whatever, but he'd fucking had to go to a doctor for the stomach pain and shit and apparently, blood test trumps peeing on a stick (seriously, how could a chick not know if she missed three fucking periods, that shit was gross, but you noticed it). And it wasn't like he couldn't figure out when he'd had the chance to get knocked up; Kurt was the only dude he slept with and they did it that way a total of twice. He wasn't a dumb fuck like some people thought.
So he might be skipping a few classes, and doubling up on water and fucking salt-crackers because that shit was all he could stomach sometimes. And yeah, Finn has a point, he needs to tell Schue because help and whatever aside, the guy has to know that come Nationals, Puck's not going to be looking to lift anyone or risk getting elbowed or shit. Hell, six months at the point, right? He sort of remembered Quinn being pretty big by the six month mark. Fuck, that meant by then everyone would need to know; would he even go to Nationals? Was that too late to fly? Pregnant chicks weren't meant to fly after a certain time, right? Probably the same for dudes.
And if rambling that shit out to Finn was hard, explaining it to Schue was just awkward as hell.
"Hey, Schue, um, you got a minute?" Puck didn't do the talking to teachers thing, but if he had to, well, Schue was probably best right? Schue or Ms. Holiday, because he was pretty sure that Miss. P would faint or some shit.
"Sure Puck, c'mon in. What's up?" Schue sat on the edge of his desk, arms crossed over his chest, so Puck hoisted himself up to sit on the end of the nearest table.
"So, here's the thing; I'm three months pregnant." Puck figures that when it comes to this just ripping it off like a bandaid is the best. He can't beat around the bush, because then it just turns into the whole ramble thing he ended up doing with Finn and fuck if he's got the energy to do that with everyone. "It's this thing called hidden-womb syndrome, something to do with drug testing, affects male foetus, whatever. Ma was on it and here I am, pregnant." Schue was sort of reacting like Finn had. "Figured you should know, y'know, for Nationals."
"Puck, how, what, when," Schue's head was just shaking and Puck just shrugged; he should start getting used to this maybe.
"Shit happens, I got careless and, well, I gotta deal with it." He'd already sworn Finn to secrecy about the baby's parentage, as far as anyone was going to find out, Puck had a random hook up of the male persuasion and if that made him a hypocrite or a target, then fine. People would figure out soon enough that he was still Noah fucking Puckerman and shit like that wasn't gonna fly.
"How are you dealing with this? Does your mother know? The- the- the other father?" The problem with Schue caring is that he wants to help, that he asks questions and tries to be there and shit like that. Puck isn't sure if he can deal with that right now.
"I'm telling my ma tonight, kinda impossible to hide it from her really." She paid his fucking medical bills, and yeah, he was getting the maternity stuff dealt with on a grant from the company that fucked up and landed him with a fucking womb, but she still got all his paperwork. He's not expecting a massive freak out, because surely they told her this was possible, but informing your mother a year after her first grandchild was born that hey, there's another on the way but this time her son was carrying it? Yeah, totally gonna go well. "Sort of hoping Finn can deflect a lot of the Jew guilt."
"So Finn knows?"
"Yeah, I told him last week." Schue just nods, probably working out shit in his head and processing this (dude is probably sick of his students coming to him knocked up but whatever). "I ah, I'm sort of not ready for everyone to know yet." He needs to give it some time, because he can't risk Mercedes telling Kurt and Kurt figuring it out and shit hitting the fan. He's just not up for dealing with that.
"Don't worry," Schue stands up, moving close enough to place a hand on Puck's shoulder, giving him a squeeze that Puck's pretty sure is meant to be in comfort. "Anything you need, I'm there for you." It actually felt a little better, and it probably would help when it came to glee and all the dancing and stuff.
He wasn't telling anyone else until he absolutely had to, but Lauren knew that something was up, so she kept close like always in glee and Finn practically flanked his other side, as good as ignoring Quinn and Rachel; something that didn't really go down well with either girl, truth be told. It only got a little awkward when Finn blew off Quinn to come back to Puck's place, because they had a total of an hour with his ma before his little sister came home and Puck wanted to get through it before Sarah got there and started asking questions.
Not like it was easy telling Ma; she just had a bunch of questions that Puck wasn't answering, like who the other parent was, why didn't he tell her that he was seeing boys, when did he figure out that he liked boys too? It was just stuff he wasn't really thinking about. Sure, if he'd told her he was sort of seeing someone and they were a guy she'd probably have sat him down to drop the bomb that he could get impregnated, but that was neither here nor there anymore. On the plus side she didn't freak out and kick him out of the house, she just got all quiet and a little sad and yeah, he knew why, because this was him, seventeen and going to be a dad, again. At least it wasn't totally his fault this time.
The most annoying thing about this shit, it's not the sickness (and he's not calling it morning sickness, because it's never just in the morning), it's not the constant need to pee, it's not even the fact that he's missing out on basketball season, it's the tiredness. He's constantly feeling drained and it blows. He's stopped going to maths again, having naps in the nurse's office and she literally took one look at him one time and hurried him inside to lie down, like he looked like he was going to collapse or something.
Apparently, male pregnancies take their toll on the body. He figured it's because he's not actually meant to be able to get pregnant.
What's worse? Kurt transferred back. Yeah, okay so it's a little good at the same time, and Puck's found that he's probably still into the guy, which is a pain in his fucking ass, because he's not supposed to be. And all he ever hears out of Kurt's mouth is about fucking pod-person Blaine. Which sucks because Kurt's not only the father of Puck's baby, which Puck is four months pregnant with, but Puck's probably more than a little in love with the little bitch.
And now it's like impossible to keep shit from the glee club, because he's starting to show and he's pulled from sports and the hospital have informed his probation officer and the school, so it's officially out of the bag in a few days and he sort of feels like it'd be a dick move to let the glee club hear it from Jewfro's blog. Mr. Schue did his supportive 'there for you' thing, and Finn sort of thought it was past due that Puck said something (Puck is aware that Finn thinks Kurt's going to put the pieces together and figure out it's his baby, but Puck is sort of hoping he doesn't).
He manages to get the words out before practice, and yeah, he's a coward because this week he's not sticking around because he's got some blood test and shit to get done to make sure he's not going to die from carrying the baby to full term or something (and shit his ma freaked out over that) so he can high tail it out of there pretty quick. It's not quick enough that he can avoid the questions from them.
"Run out of girls to fuck?"
"How is that even possible? Physiologically speaking it's an impossibility."
"Who the hell were you dating?"
"Are you gonna get all 'Aliens' and have that thing just like, bust out or something?"
"Okay," Puck just cannot deal with rambling questions at the same time, "number one, ha fucking ha, Santana, let’s talk about pots and kettles?" It at least shuts Santana up, because she knows what he's talking about even if everyone else just thinks he's calling her a whore, "Rach, I don't know, it's some stupid genealogy bullshit to do with drug testing pre-natal shit that my Ma took. Not dating anyone Quinn, it's just me, and no, Sam and thousand times, no." He just shakes his head, gives Finn a small nod and walks out after his little clap on the back from Schue. He's lucky that he gets to avoid the aftermath, because he's not stupid enough to believe that they'll actually rehearse today, not even Rachel will.
He gets a text from San later, while he's in the waiting room at the doctors. He's surprised that she actually apologises for the comment, because normally she'd just wave it off with a 'whatever' and move on, which he's cool with, because she's his girl or whatever. But she offers to give him a lift anywhere he needs and she'll help where she can. Which is cool, since Santana Lopez is not a maternal person by any stretch of the imagination. So, Finn knows, like everything, and San is up for helping out, his ma is cool with shit, even if she'd rather it wasn't happening and Schue is all fatherly and stuff. All in all, it doesn't seem too bad.
All in all, he didn't think he'd be that bothered with the whole 'being presumed a slut' thing. See, he's been sleeping around since he figured out how to use his dick for more than just pissing. And it's not exactly a secret that he's banged more cougars than he has high school chicks, and he's done a lot of high school chicks. He's used to being known as a bit of a manwhore, it wasn't an issue, he didn't care. People could call him a slut or a whore or whatever they wanted, and he didn't care. But he's pretty sure that the baby hormones or whatever make him a little unstable or whatever and every time he hears whispering in the halls he totally flinches.
"You okay there, White Boy?" The entire girl section of the glee club (Kurt not included as an honorary girl this time) got super mothering, super fast. Mercedes was the worst of it, probably because she's got like, kid siblings or something and the kids at her church or whatever. And she notices shit pretty good. Like when he's not eating or sleeping or totally zoning out because he's just been reminded that he's actually going to be raising this baby and it sometimes freaks him the hell out.
"'m fine," it's his standard answer, because he's not yet given up his balls in order to break down and sob out his heart (he figures that'll come around month eight when he's just a hormonal bowling ball or whatever). "Just tired, seriously, my back kills." He's starting to show, and he's pretty sure he's bigger than Quinn was (karma being right back in there and laughing in his face, oh yeah) and it actually hurts to sleep sometimes.
"Listen, my dad has this friend, he works with pregnant teens, I'm pretty sure I can get you some stuff. We got a bunch of it for Quinn, back when, you can borrow that. They've got this pillow; it sorta helps to support the baby while you sleep. It'll help." Puck slams his locker, because there's a group of Cheerio's standing far too close and whispering and he's getting sick of that shit.
"Yeah, that'd be great, thanks." He's not above accepting help, 'cause this shit is hard to deal with and he's not good at dealing with shit. Least of all when his nerves are getting frayed and he's pretty close to snapping. And the worst of it is that he still gets it in glee; Kurt's a judgemental little bitch, because he hasn't figured out that Puck wasn't sleeping around with guys like people seem to think, it was just Kurt, Quinn's all awkward and stuff, because he's having another kid, and it's right in her face, and her faith is probably being smashed up in front of her, because he's a guy and he's up the duff, so yeah, he can understand.
Rachel tried to be helpful, but all she was doing was freaking him out with all these statistics and facts and crap, it wasn't cool. And the thing? The really annoying, stressing, bullshit thing? They were just as bad with the judgement thing. He wasn't sure if they meant it or if they just didn't realise how much it bugged him, but the times they brought up how he 'didn't know who the dad of his baby was' or how 'it could be any number of people' or the way they just looked at him? Yeah; sometimes he just wanted to tell them that Kurt was the fucking father.
But he didn't, and it just went on, and it just bugged him more. It wasn't until some weird bonding shit that it really came to anything. And even then it was Finn who got sick of it.
"Well, it's not exactly hard to find out parentage anymore." Puck would really like to punch Blaine in the face; he's pretty sure he could do it and write it off as hormones. Because the Hobbit has no reason to stick his two cents in and it pisses Puck off just as much as the fact that Blaine and Kurt haven't stopped with the hand holding, lovey eyes and stupid little kisses ever since they got to Rachel's place.
"The problem is getting the male population of Lima to give up their DNA and the length of time it would take to test against everyone Puck's slept with." See, Quinn can be totally nice one second and a real bitch the next. It's good that hasn't changed about her.
"That's enough," Finn has his little outburst after a small chuckle from the group and Puck feels a slice of fear go down his spine.
"Dude, chill." Because Finn has a tendency to blurt and Puck will not deny anything if Finn blurts the truth, because he does not lie. He can handle this, he can. It's just a matter of ignoring the annoyance at every little dig; he just needs to get the hell over it because it doesn't matter.
"No, okay, because this bullshit is bad enough at school. Did you know that these type of pregnancies miscarry seven out of ten times due to stress? And this shit about the other dad, it's stressing him out." Quinn looks slightly contrite and Puck just gives her a stiff smile because she's the only one who will really understand this stuff. "So it ends now, okay. I'm the other dad."
"Finn," everyone chimes with the 'what' just as Puck stares at Finn. "What're you doing?" Because Finn isn't the other dad, or dad, or anything really. Finn knows who is and he's lying to their friends and his own step-brother. "Have you lost your mind?" Puck has to lean up to hiss into Finn's ear because the idiot is just going to fuck up his life with this. "What do you think you're doing?"
"No, okay, I know what I'm doing, it's fine." Finn's hand just rests on his bicep, rubbing slightly and Puck's aware that he's putting on a little show and seriously Finn thinks this won't still stress him out? Now everyone's going to give Finn hell over a kid that's not even his. It was one thing when it was Quinn; back when everyone thought it was Finn who got her pregnant. It was like he was great or something according to the other guys on the team, 'cause his hot ass girlfriend was having his baby. But when it was Puck's it was just shit because he got another guys girl pregnant and it was his best friend too. But this is Puck, a guy. There's not gonna be a line of guys ready to pat him on the back for getting the town fuck up pregnant.
"Finn, really, you expect us to-"
"Listen up, cause I'm saying it once. We fooled around, we didn't realise what could happen and now we're going to deal with it. Together." He says the last part to Puck and really this is going beyond Finn being a good friend, or even a bro. He's like stepping up for something he doesn't need to and Puck just doesn't feel like he can handle this right now. "Y'okay?"
"Can we just go?" He doesn't miss Rachel's hurt look, or Quinn's glare, or Santana's shock, or the betrayal on Kurt's face and yeah, Puck just cannot deal with it.
"Why'd you tell 'em it was yours?" He's been trying to sleep for nearly an hour, but even if Finn's giving him his bed, it's just not comfortable. "They'd have stopped with that shit eventually."
"Because," Finn's just lying there, and Puck half wants to tell him to get his ass up to the bed because he doesn't want to lean over to look at Finn, but he can't stand not seeing the expressions on Finn's face. "Kurt should've figured it out. And even if he didn't want to be with you he should've been there for the baby. But," there's a sigh, and Finn shifts until he's sitting up and Puck can see the top of his head. "I heard him talking with Mercedes. They think you've been sleeping around this whole time. Like, Kurt said you probably slept with all the husbands of the housewives you've been with and, God Puck, it's shit okay. Everyone's saying all this shit about you and the baby and," he feels a little weird doing it, but Puck stretches out a hand to flick at Finn's cheek with a finger.
"Thanks." Finn could've just told them to lay off, could've just left it at the whole 'stress can cause a miscarry' thing and they'd definitely back off, because no one wanted that. Tina was already bringing up baby names, and Rachel had knitted some baby booties, Mercedes was constantly giving him stuff from her dad's friends thing and Sam and Mike were fighting over Godfather status (they seemed to forget that Puck was Jewish and the baby was going to be Jewish because Kurt was ignoring it so he didn't get a say). And now Finn was looking to play the part of co-parent?
"We're best friends, right?"
"Yeah," he'd never had a friend that stuck by him as much as Finn. He'd fucked up time and time again and Finn still stuck by him and called him a friend and did over the top shit just to help him out. Puck was a pretty shitty friend in comparison.
"We both loved Beth before she was even born. Let me help you with this." It's impossible to say no. So whatever Finn's reasons, whatever he's looking for out of this, or if he's just really that decent a guy or whatever, Puck figures he owes it to him.
"Well, if you're gonna play the other dad; you wanna come to my next ultra sound?"
Weird thing, Finn's really good at playing his part, or whatever. It's not like he's all PDA or whatever, but he's like constantly there if Puck needs anything. A little freaky yes, but totally helpful for those moments when Puck is seriously craving something but doesn't want to ask for it. Finn just seems to know and doesn't stop until Puck gives it up and then he just, well, gets whatever it is. Puck's eaten more Reese's Pieces in the last week than he ever had in his life. And the baby likes Rachel's vegan crap, like he's stopped with the morning sickness (thank Moses) and he's getting his weird cravings, but sometimes the smell of food just puts him right off and he's all grossed out at lunch time because the cafeteria is not helping at all. But Rachel sits next to him one day, pats his tummy this affectionate way (she's sort of forgiven him for his pretend affair with Finn since technically, Finn was just experimenting, and she'd made out with Puck during their sort of break anyway so it's whatever apparently) and pulls out her tofu and seaweed wrap and he's actually kinda interested. He ends up eating half her lunch and she brings extra for him the rest of the week.
Not that things get easier. Everyone is under the impression that Finn is the dad, making Puck the mom, and that's fine. He's got a baby inside him, playing space hopper on his bladder, he's sort of over the whole 'who's the girl' bullshit that inevitably comes with this sort of thing (like they couldn't tell? He was pregnant for crying out loud, where were these idiots during Health Ed?).
But that wasn't what bothered him. What bothered him was Kurt. More specifically Kurt and Blaine. Ever since Finn had declared himself the father it was like any time Puck saw Kurt there was something to do with Blaine, and any time they were just hanging out or whatever, it was like Blaine and Kurt were surgically attached to each other; at the hip, at the hand, at the mouth. It just didn't stop. Puck wasn't sure if he was imagining it, if it was his conscience speaking up or just some form of Jewish guilt taking over. Because he was pretty much doing what Quinn did, kind of, only not. Kurt was the father and Puck wasn't telling him and Finn was pretending to be, so it was like a backwards scenario from what Quinn did and seriously, it was clawing away at Puck every time he saw Kurt. Which was a lot, because he was like always over at the Hudmel home since Finn was taking this responsibility thing really seriously.
He was also exceptionally protective of anything that had to do with Puck and Kurt. Finn was always a buffer there, because Kurt seemed to be especially catty towards Puck, or about Puck, or about the baby, and really, Puck couldn't figure out why. But Finn's antics only led to Santana's realisation (he should've known that out of everyone, she'd see it, whatever it was, she'd see it). They went bowling once, as a group of friends, not a glee club, which meant Kurt bringing Blaine. Kurt kept sitting in Blaine's lap and wrapping his arms around Blaine's need and fucking nuzzling him right there in the bowling centre (because they needed more attention on them beside the pregnant teenage male in their company?) and Mercedes had gone Mama Bear on them all after two comments were made about Blaine and Kurt while Puck was getting dozens of dirty looks from people; like he was something they stood on in the street.
And usually, Puck knew that Kurt would get embarrassed and a little awkward and sort of sit there quiet. He half expected Kurt to just sit beside Blaine and covertly hold his hand or something like that (which was bad enough sometimes) but he didn't, he just kept right on going and Puck felt bile rise up in his throat.
"Gimme a minute, yeah. Britt can take my shot." It wasn't like he was really playing anyway, he was fucking huge and bowling was just not going to happen for him. Finn moved to get up and follow him when he shifted, but Puck pushed on his shoulder. "Just a minute okay." He needed to pull himself together and he didn't want to do it with Finn hovering around being all supportive and stuff; because awesome as Finn was, and great as it was that he was there and helping, Puck would kill for it to be Kurt instead and that shit just isn’t happening because the little diva is ass over hips for curly fries there and it's just something Puck's going to have to deal with because he made his decision and it sucks.
He can't exactly get far, but he can get to a closed off area of the building and lean against a counter, just to catch his breath and cool his heartbeat and try and get the baby to stop fucking wriggling. His head is pressed to the cool surface top and he's got his eyes shut, so he doesn't see Santana come up behind him, but he knows it's her from the way she runs her hand over his head.
"You okay there, Moby Dick?" Only she can be concerned and insulting in the one go.
"Yeah, 'm fine." He's far from it really. He'd never really understood the way Quinn would do anything to keep Finn, never understood the way that Rachel would be anything to have Finn. He'd always thought it was stupid, doing all that over one person, going to those lengths for one guy, being so caught up in what one person thought that you completely changed things just for them. He's starting to get an idea. It's not that he'd change who he is, or how he'd act, or what he'd do; it's just that he can see himself doing other stuff. Like if Kurt said he hated the mohawk that much, Puck'd shave it off. It's just hair, and yeah he digs his 'hawk and it's there for a reason, but if Kurt really totally hated it, he'd ditch it. Or those times Kurt threatened him with a 'make-over' because his baggy clothes were 'ridiculous', Puck wouldn't really care too much (although his baggy clothes were coming in handy now weren't they). So he's fairly certain that this is that whole 'love makes you do crazy stuff' thing, only he can't do it because the boy he's in love with wants nothing to do with him.
And that sucks just as much as Quinn wanting him to have nothing to do with Beth.
"Bullshit." Santana's always been able to see through him, just like he's always been able to see through her. It's like they've both got the same fractures and damages, they know how to hide them from everyone else, but it's like looking into a mirror when it comes to each other. "You ever gonna tell Kurt that he's the dad?"
"No, because he doesn't want to know. If he did, he would've figured it out. So," so Kurt wasn't going to see what he didn't want to see. Kurt would just believe that Puck was sleeping around, even though he would've never had time to do anything considering all the time he spent with Kurt. Not to mention he'd fucking told Kurt that he'd never been with any other guys, when they started really fooling around Kurt had been all shy and shit and said he wouldn't be any good cause he'd never done anything; Puck had been right there with him on that. And that first time that Kurt topped, he fucking knew that it was a big deal, because it was like submitting to something and giving it up and Kurt said he knew it was a big deal, said he knew it was a lot, but could he please? And Puck was stupid enough to think they were headed towards a relationship anyway, so why not? "So, it's just gonna be me, and Finn wants to help and, that'll need to be enough."
"Hey," he turns his head to look at her, seeing the familiar flash of his girl right there. Santana was possessive, it didn't matter what you were to her; friend, fellow cheerleader, gleek, best friend, lover. Whatever it was, you were hers and that worked for her, because it made her this ferocious, amazing, sometimes vindictive woman that looked out for hers. He'd never really been too bothered by being her boy, because she'd always be his girl. "You got me too. Anyone that says otherwise, you know I'm gonna cut a bitch." It got a laugh out of him, even if he felt like shit. "C'mon, before Finn gets his panties in a wad wondering where you've gone."
But it wasn't like anything would stay simple at all.
It was the night that Kurt sort of hinted at him and Blaine sleeping together that things got really out of control. Kurt mentioned it at dinner, and Puck knew for sure that him and Finn were the only ones who picked up on it. But it kept running through Puck's mind, and he felt this horrid build up in his chest that had to be jealousy and seriously, it fucking hurt. It wasn't until after dinner, half way through the movie Finn picked to watch that Puck realised it wasn't jealousy and it wasn't in his chest, it was in his side and, oh shit no.
"Finn," his fingers dug into Finn's forearm, just as a stab of pain jerked into his side, "oh holy mother of, sweet merciful, ow." It took Carole less than five seconds to have the ambulance dialled and on the way, Puck's mother informed and everything ready to go.
"It's too early, the baby isn't big enough, oh God, it's far too early." He was just coming up to the six months, he'd read that babies could survive after that, they'd be little and in an incubator and stuff for a while, but the baby could make it, right? "Just breathe Puck, c'mon, just breathe."
He didn't pay attention to anything other than the pain and the panic and the fear that he was going to lose the little thing before he'd even really named it, he didn't even know if it was a boy or a girl, he'd never actually asked, sort of for a surprise and now he might not get to-
Everything happened like a scene from some movie, like it wasn't his life; the ambulance bundling him up, Finn never letting go of his hand, even when he squeezed too hard, the turbulent ride that he didn't remember, Finn's voice just a constant over the paramedics and the pain, the rush into the hospital with everything happening around him like some natural disaster, Finn was made to wait in the area for family, Puck was taken into the OR and the next thing he knew he was waking up in a bed with Finn and Kurt in his room and Finn shouting.
"Would you just stop with the bitch fest? He's in hospital; do you see what all this has done? He's sick, he's underweight, he's not sleeping, his blood pressure is off the charts for a teenager, all this stress is tearing him down and it's just adding on the drain of his body going through this. Do you know how easily he's affected by things? That's what caused this, all the stress from your bitchy little moments. That's why it happened." He lost it, didn't he? That's what the pain was, and the reason for the private room and the yelling. It's really weird though, because he can still sort of feel the baby, right there and it's like, comforting or something. But Finn wouldn't be yelling at Kurt if everything was fine, so he must just be imagining things.
"Are you kidding me? This has nothing to do with me. Maybe if he wasn't such a-"
"Don't even say it, don't you dare."
"What? You don't like hearing the truth about him? You know it's what he is. He slept with all the girls, he's slept with Santana and Quinn and you and me. He's the glee bicycle, hell, he's Lima's bicycle." It's not like he didn't know that was how Kurt saw him; even before Kurt thought he'd slept with Finn. It was pretty evident by that point that Kurt just saw him as some warm body, tension release or something. Kurt never really considered them friends, it was just some work up in courage or something, building up to what they did together. "I'm not to blame for him being a slut."
"Have you even listened to yourself? He's pregnant and you treat him like crap. You've got Blaine and you're all pissed off that he's been with other people or something? News flash for you, he's never had sex with any guy but you." Puck thinks he should tell them that he's awake, or at least tell them to take the family drama outside so that he can mourn his baby in peace. He doesn't even care that Finn's pretty much telling Kurt that the baby was his. He doesn't care because he's never going to see bright green eyes, or perfect pale white skin, or soft hazel hair, or any of that. He's never going to see Kurt in his baby, or know if it would take after him or after Kurt, or even if it'd resemble either of them. Because it's gone, even if he still feels like it's there. "It was you, okay. And he didn't want to say anything because you'd started whatever with Blaine and just, dumped him or something. He never fooled around with anyone but you. And that one time he kissed Rachel. He was gonna tell you at Regionals, tell you he was pregnant, that there was some kind of medical thing, but you were all doe eyes with Blaine that he just didn't, he came to me instead. And then you all pissed me off with this bullshit about him being a whore or whatever, so yeah, I lied to you, but you didn't even stop to think for one damn second about the timing and anything he ever said to you. God, Kurt, you didn't even look."
"What- but- he's,"
"Can you two shut up and get out?" He just wants to be alone. Like seriously, not even just being a pussy or whatever, he's fairly sure he needs to be on his own for a while.
"Noah." They end up one on each side of his bed, Kurt in front of him and Finn behind. "How're you feeling?" It's the first thing Kurt's said to him in months that hasn't been some sarcastic comment or witty little rejoinder. And seriously? How is he feeling? He feels like shit because he's just lost his baby. Puck just stares at Kurt, who officially knows that Puck was carrying his baby, and is wide eyed and stunned.
"You really scared us. I'm really sorry dude, they said there wasn't anything they could do, but it's okay, because the other one is strong and it looks like you'll both pull through." Okay, now Finn isn't making sense.
"Douchebag, come around here so I can see your crazy face when you're talking."
"It was twins, Noah," Kurt reaches out, almost placing his hand on Puck's swollen stomach, before Puck shifts so that he can't. "One of them, one of them had a heart problem, his heart hadn't grown properly and when he, when his heart stopped trying to beat, you went into distress and they had to operate." He can feel the numb line along his side, just where the tightness in his stomach starts and his chest and ribs hurt; they cut him open and took out his child, one of his babies. He had two?
"You want us to get a nurse? Doctor?" He just nods, because he's fairly certain they're telling him that he just lost a child, but he still has one, and he's not entirely sure how that's possible. Kurt and Finn aren't allowed back in, his ma comes in with the doctor though and he knows she'll set him straight on what happened.
There had been two heart beats all along, one was just very faint and in time with the other, so they never caught it. One of the babies didn't show up on the ultra sound for some reason that they're looking into. They know that the boy had a hole in his heart, something hadn't formed and it never really worked right, when the heart stopped beating his body tried to reject the baby but there was nowhere for it to go. He just miscarried a baby; but his daughter, the second child, she was okay. They had their own amniotic whatever’s, so she was protected from whatever and that was the reason he was so tired, and why he'd looked further along.
"Baby, why don't you get some sleep? You need to rest up." His ma placed a kiss on his forehead, stroking his cheek lightly, and he wasn't exactly tired, but the prospect of maybe having to talk to someone about what happened? Of having to see Kurt or Finn and listen to them some more? Of the pitying looks he's likely to get when everyone hear about it? He'd rather sleep than do that right now.
He just doesn't know how he's supposed to feel. One the one hand, obviously he's devastated that he lost his little boy, but on the other there's this elation that he's still got the other one, he's still got his little girl there; he can feel her moving, feel the tiny little kicks of her feet or the little punches of her fists, can feel her shift around and press on his bladder. He's just so aware of everything she does while he's stuck there in that bed, waiting for them to let him go home.
But they want to keep him in for a few days, because he's clearly under too much pressure and his body isn't taking it well and they want to make sure there are no further complications. He's still trying to figure out what the hell he's meant to feel when the entire glee club visit him. It's like he's some attraction in the zoo; there's the staring and the shock, they try to keep things focused on the little girl and it's like no one mentions how he's just lost his son.
And someone brought Blaine. He knows it wasn't Kurt, Kurt's at the other side of the room and he's not looking at anyone or anything other than Puck's stomach, because now he knows that this is his daughter, not Finn's, not some random guy, not someone from school. His. He hasn't spoken to Puck since he and Finn told him about the babies and Puck's not holding out for that changing any time soon.
"I was looking up more baby names. Naturally I was mostly sticking to the Jewish names, I didn't want to be too presumptuous but, well, it's Noah." He thinks that's supposed to be a joke or something about how they share that one thing and it sort of bonds them sometimes, like he'll stick by her for Jew solidarity or something. But he just can't make himself care. "I thought Aviva looked nice, it means spring time, which I know isn't really appropriate since she was conceived in the winter and will be born in fall, but it's a lovely name. Or Rebecca, which means to tie, or to bind. It's a very lovely name and I myself was almost a Rebecca. I know that Sarah thinks Hannah is a wonderful name, it means grace, or in Gods favour. Sarah's already trying to stitch that onto little baby bibs. And Mich is absolutely just an underused name, it would be good."
"Isn't that a boy’s name?" Tina asks it just so innocently and Puck just completely zones out, because as much as he knows Rachel is doing her own thing to try and be comforting, it's just hit him that he's never going to name his little boy, never going to see him or hold him or watch him walk or hear his first word or laugh or any of that stuff you want your kids to do. So he misses Rachel explaining how Mich is a unisex name while Mika is a girl name and Micha is a boy name and what they all mean and he's just not there.
"Everyone out." Santana's voice just cuts through it all though, and he realises that he's about to cry and she's probably noticed because she's watching him like a hawk. "Move it, out." There are grumbles of complaint, but Mercedes stops after a half formed comment and starts to herd the rest of them out, so she's seen it too.
"I got this one, Finn." Santana just nods at Finn, who nods back and he heads out with the rest of them until it's just Kurt and Santana, and she literally starts staring him down. "I said out, Ladyface."
"I don't think so; I need to talk to him."
"Not right now, get out." Santana isn't one to back down, and as spectacularly stubborn as Kurt can be, there's no way he's going to out stubborn Santana Lopez. "Take a number, come back later, but get your designer booty out now." The door to the room is barely closed before he feels the first sob, and Santana just pulls the blinds on the window and climbs onto his bed, pulling his head to her chest as he finally just breaks. He has no idea what she says or even if she talks at all. He just knows that he clings to her Cheerio's uniform and sobs against her for the little boy he's never going to know and the girl still with him.
No one mentions baby names to him at all. He's in the hospital for five days as far as he can tell, and Finn has either made a schedule for who can visit him or Rachel has. He's sitting with Rachel and Sam on the third day of his hospital stay; Mercedes and Quinn took the morning visit that day and he knows that Santana and Finn (weird bonding thing that they've done) are coming to see him after dinner.
"What's going to happen while we're at Nationals?" It's a viable question, since he's not meant to be left on his own and all his friends are going to New York in a week. It's not like his ma can take the time off work, and Sarah has school and it would just be way too stressful to deal with that. But there is no way he wants to stay in the hospital until they come back. But there doesn't seem to be a lot of options.
"I'm not sure; I guess I'll be here." He's pretty sure that, even if Miss. Pillsbury offering wouldn't be frowned up (he's a pregnant student and she's an OCD guidance counsellor who is sort of dating his glee and Spanish teacher what isn't weird there) she wouldn't be really up to handling the pregnant male part of him being there. She does give the impression of great nurse material, but she also has that crazy germ phobia going on too.
"Dude, that sucks. We get to go to New York and you're in a hospital bed." He doesn't really need Sam pointing this out, but if Sam wants to, well, he just did.
"On the up side, free cable."
It's not really an upside though. Because he'd rather not be in the hospital (cute nurses fawning over him aside) he'd much rather be at home, or at least at Finn's where the giant dolt can run around like a nut when all Puck's bothered about is playing some Halo or Call of Duty and Santana popping over to make sure he's eating. Carole, it seems, doesn't like the idea of him being in the hospital on his own either. Finn tells him that he's not staying in the hospital, that in two days he's getting released if everything is okay and he's set to stay with Carole and Burt, because apparently they can work their hours around him staying there, and since it is their granddaughter they want to help.
Puck doesn't really get the chance to say no, because his ma is all for it, and they've practically moved him into Finn's house when he's released. It would be great if not for the fact that Finn has a last minute meet up with Santana (not a date, but totally a date) and Puck actually convinces him to go.
"Seriously dude, I'm going to sleep. I'm way past exhausted, your mom is like right downstairs and she keeps checking on me every twenty minutes. I'll be fine." They're heading off to Nationals in two days, Puck's pretty sure that Santana thinks this is her shot to get Finn (and it's not like when she hooked up with him last year, 'cause she sort of likes him now or whatever and everyone can kind of see Brittany forgiving Artie already and it's just this whole big thing so San wants to give it a shot at an actual relationship with Finn) so she's taking it and he's just going to lie back and sleep while they do whatever out at Breadstix.
He completely forgets for the whole of his conversation with Finn that Kurt is in the house and that he knows what is really going on. He blames the pregnancy for his further failing brain capacity.
It's not like he never expected Kurt to confront him. He just didn't really want to picture it or think about it or really give it any thought at all beyond knowing that it would happen. Because it's not going to be fun for either of them, Puck knows this. He doesn't really expect Kurt to appear at the door to the room he's sort of sharing with Finn, with a mug of warm milk.
"I usually have warm milk before bed. It helps me sleep. I thought, maybe it would be good for you?" The thought is sort of nice, especially since they've barely spoke to each other for the best part of five months; which would be the better part of Puck's pregnancy.
"Thanks, but dairy makes me heave." It's something the kid is doing to him, or something they'd both been doing to him, but it's just the one now and he's not chancing things since he actually hates throwing up.
"Oh," Kurt just looks at the mug of milk, and Puck would feel bad, but it's not his fault that Kurt doesn't know he's been off dairy since month three, or that meat smells horrible to him, or that he's oddly fond of peaches, and if you so much as have a plain biscuit in the room he will find it (Finn was a total douche at one point and hid them around Puck's house just to see if it was legit -Puck punched him in the shoulder after he found them all). "Well," the mug is left on the corner of Finn's dresser, Kurt still hovering by the door. He sighs slightly before closing over the door. "So, I was thinking I wouldn't go to New York."
"Because there should be someone else here to help and I've already missed a lot, so I need to start pulling my weight. It's unfair to expect you to manage everything on your own." Puck's not actually following. Honestly, he expected hostility. Maybe some shouting, a little diva fit, Kurt blaming him or accusing him or something; he might deserve a little of it for the months of secrecy and lies, but he wasn't intending on taking it all without a little dish back. He definitely wasn't expecting this.
"Um, until she's born, there's really not much to do." Yeah, they'll need to sort out things like who has her when and all that document crap and Puck would probably need to discuss things like naming and religion and all that with Kurt now that he knew (maybe it was easier when Finn was shouldering it all like a trooper, because Finn just said 'whatever' to anything, so long as he got to pick the baby's middle name and help with her).
"Sure there is, you'll need help getting around, and I don't think you'd like to be stuck in the house all day, so I could take you out sometimes just to get out, and there's still things to be done. Do you have a crib or a baby bath or a car seat or rocker or clothes or-" Kurt literally rattles off twenty things (rattle is one of them) that he needs to the kid that he doesn't have (he's been too busy not losing his mind with this baby thing) and Puck is still stuck on the why.
"And you'll fit your own life in there where?"
"Puck, we're having a baby, it's time to put that to the side for now."
"Really? You're just going to stop living your life because there's a baby? No more school, no more big dreams, no more friends or clubs or boyfriend, just baby, twenty four seven?" He gets that raising a kid is a big deal; people might think that he's blind to the fact or whatever, but he's not. He watched his mother raise two kids, work a job, pay the bills and get over her good for nothing husband all at the same time and still manage to go out once in a while. He's not dumb enough to think it'll be easy at his age, but he's not intending on stopping living because she's going to be there.
"I can work for my dad during the summer and then work weekends during the school year, of course I'll need to graduate. All our friends want to be involved in the baby's life, and, well, I'll tell Blaine what's happening and we'll end things so that'll be fine."
"What? Why are you breaking up with Blaine?"
"You're carrying my baby." Kurt says it as if the answer is obvious. Like there's no question to really ask, because the answer is like, right there or something. Puck doesn't get the logic (okay he does, he's seen it done, the logic is flawed) and he didn't exactly expect Kurt to hit out with it.
"What's your point?" He's not going to be in a relationship with anyone just because he's pregnant. Even if it was Finn, which it would've never been because they're bros and nothing more and Finn is straighter than a fucking arrow (probably straighter than people thought Puck was) and Puck's not getting into it.
"Why are you being so stubborn about this? Finn said you wanted to be with me." Finn has a far too big mouth sometimes. Yeah; Puck had told Finn about the extent of his 'relationship' with Kurt. It wasn't so much a relationship as continuous hooking up, disregarding other potential hook ups, hanging out with extended conversation and just generally liking each other. Or Puck liked Kurt at least. Puck doesn't really know what constitutes a 'real' relationship or anything, but he was pretty sure that what he had with Kurt was a relationship in everything but acknowledgement. Which might've been the problem.
"You don't want to be with me." That fact was made perfectly clear when Kurt didn't even tell Puck about his crush on Blaine while they were doing whatever the hell they were doing, or even that he was starting something up with Blaine which meant he was ending things with Puck. "Why would I settle for being with someone who's only there for a baby, who only has some misplaced guilt or something? So you can leave in seven years? No, okay." He was the only reason his parents got married. They weren't fresh out of high school or anything, his ma was nineteen and hadn't attended school for two years when she got pregnant and his dad was twenty one and wanting to be a rockstar. But his girlfriend got pregnant so they got married and settled down and then, seven years later, she's pregnant again and he's off somewhere with all their savings and his guitar trying to make the big time without the constraints of children or a wife or responsibilities.
He will not be the thing that Kurt resents in ten years, and his daughter will not be the burden to walk away from.
"What- I wouldn't leave. I want us to do this together."
"Well we can, I'm not gonna stop you seeing her okay." Admirable as Kurt's intentions might be, Puck's not that naive; he's a realist, a pessimist sometimes. But it's not like he's going to deny Kurt his daughter, not now. If Kurt wants to see her, he can. They'll work something out where she can stay with Kurt sometimes, where Kurt can be as involved as he wants. Kurt will be named on the birth certificate and have a say in her life, but Puck won't chain himself or Kurt into something that Kurt evidently never intended on. And Puck's not just talking about the baby.
"But you won't be with me? Like we won't be together? I don't get you at all." Kurt starts pacing the floor, and Puck's never seen Kurt agitated like this before. Kurt's always been that composed in control way (okay, not during sex, but that's completely different), he's always sort of had a grasp of his emotions and his actions and Puck's a little surprised at this anxious, out of sorts Kurt (it's annoyingly cute).
"Why are you pushing this? You have a boyfriend; it shouldn't even be an issue." Last Puck saw, Kurt and Blaine were all loving glances and holding hands and deep conversations. Last Puck saw was Prom night, and he was pretty sure that the whole thing just sort of brought them closer or whatever and that was great for them or something (bitterness was still an issue). "I'm just saying, you'll have a say in things, if you want to tell people then tell people, but we're not going to be something we aren't. And we are not a couple, we are not together, we are not in a relationship. So, go to New York, have fun at Nationals, call your boyfriend at night to tell him you love him or whatever and I will be fine, here, with Carole and my ma and sister."
The diva thing finally comes out when Kurt throws his arms up and stomps out and Puck just rolls his eyes. He'd love to just turn over go to sleep and ignore everything. But he's still the size of a beached whale, and getting up is a pain.
"Hey, Kurt?" The smaller boy stops at the door, not turning back and that's kind of easier. "Could you take the milk; the smell kinda gets to me." He's going to pretend that Kurt didn't slam the door on him.