Characters: Noah 'Puck' Puckerman, Kurt Hummel, Santana Lopez, Brittany Pierce, Rachel Berry, Finn Hudson, Mike Chang, Tina Cohen-Chang, Quinn Fabray, ensemble
Pairing: Kurt/Puck, Santana/Brittany/Quinn, Rachel/Finn, Kurt/Blaine (excessive amounts of Quinn/Puck, Brittany/Puck, Santana/Puck, mild Rachel/Santana)
Warnings: language, sexual content, boy kissing, girl kissing, groping.
Spoilers: mentioned season 2.
Disclaimer: Not mine. No money. No affiliation.
A/N: follow on from Is That a Magnet in Your Pocket, begged for by Mol, got out of control.
Summary: After the party at Puck's, the Unholy Trinity form an alliance with a goal in mind; break up Kurt and Blaine, hook up Puck and Kurt. If only things went smoothly.
Puck wakes up to dead cat taste in his mouth, a mild throb at the back of his skull and a butt wiggling into his crotch. He's ready to kick himself for leaving the curtains open on his window, because just a peek through slitted eyes tells him that it's still morning and that was not part of the plan.
The plan was to sleep until at least noon, and this is not noon. Although the wiggling butt could make up for that. At least until he remembers who the wiggling butt belongs to and then he's pretty sure he's just going to get a knee in the balls for being an asshole who takes advantage of slightly drunk miniature male divas who drop to their knees and suck him off and then he's got a whole other problem because that thought and the wiggling just mean his morning wood is making itself known. He's totally worried that the potential knee to the balls is gonna break his fucking dick at this rate.
"Would you please stop moving?" He tightens his arms around Kurt's waist, hauling the slighter boy back just to point out why it's in Kurt's best interest to stop. And stop he does. Kurt practically freezes in Puck's arms, whole body going rigid and fuck this is why Puck usually hooks up with chicks at their place. It's so much easier to bail when they suddenly realise just what they've done and are trying to pretend it never happened. "Whatever," Puck pulls back from Kurt, stretching as he twists out of his bed, popping the stiffness out of his back, "I need a fucking aspirin."
He half stumbles to the bathroom down the hall, checking his ma's room to see if she's home yet or not. Her little digital alarm clock stands out in the dark room to tell Puck that it's barely even nine in the morning, so no, she's not home. He's cursing up a storm in his head as he takes a piss, figuring the longer he takes the longer he can put off seeing Kurt and listening to the 'please don't say anything/I was drunk and this never happened/I have a boyfriend and I can't lose him' speech. Puck's pretty much heard every version there is.
He brushes that dead cat taste out of his mouth, hunting through the medicine cabinet for aspirin and chewing two down before he washes his face and figures he has to at least face Kurt before the kid bolts from his house. He's about right. Puck wanders back into his room just as Kurt's straightening out his shirt, almost immaculate as usual save for the rumpled hair. Puck just raised an eyebrow before snorting.
"I um, I--" the blush is there on Kurt's cheeks, not just as vibrant as last night, but Puck's pretty sure this is the blush of shame or something rather than arousal. Whatever. "I'm meeting Blaine at ten, I uh, I have to go." At least it's not this whole annoying speech like Claire Patterson gave him, or the really heart crushing crap he got off Quinn, but Puck just doesn't really care for hearing it either way.
"Sure, the door'll lock behind you anyway." He's pretty sure Kurt gets the point, practically scampering from the room in a hurry and it's just oddly out of character for Kurt, because Puck's never actually seen him scamper anywhere. Then again, Puck's never seen Kurt wake up, rumpled and sporting the 'just fucked' bed head, even if he wasn't just fucked, although Puck's pretty sure he could picture a fairly accurate version of Kurt's face in that 'just fucked' expression.
The door sort of slams behind Kurt and Puck makes himself stop thinking about 'just fucked' anything and crawls back into bed. Fuck this, he's not doing shit until its long after noon.
He would've as well, if his asshole friends hadn't gotten out of their own beds and started texting him about shit. Britt wants to know if he found her top -and he hadn't because he'd gotten a little distracted. Quinn wanted to know if she left her iPod at his, and she had, yes, it was sitting next to the dock and his iPod. Santana was a bitch and text to inform him that she got her three girl three-way and that he had to be super nice if he wanted details. Fucker.
Mike thought that half past ten was a perfectly reasonable time to text and remind him that they had a bounce game of basketball planned for tomorrow with Sam and Finn, even though Puck was well aware of that since he was staying at Finn's to avoid the girl explosion that was going to be his house when Sarah had her millions of friends spending the night. At least he knew there was no alcohol in the house for her to be getting into.
Carole had offered to help his ma watch the rugrat and her little friends when he'd literally begged her to just stab him in the head right then and there to save him the agony of dealing with twelve hyperactive pre-teens. Really, it was for the best, because he'd end up cussing the little runts out and probably scaring the shit out of them with ghost stories and then Sarah would hate him for a week and she'd mope like a grunge-punk wannabe in her room before remembering that she needed him to be her ride through the summer to all her insane little shit things.
The most annoying text was Kurt. About an hour and a half after he'd left. I told Blaine I slept in your sister’s bed. Please don't say anything.
Puck legit tossed his phone across the room and ignored the rest of the beeping until his ma walked in near one in the afternoon and informed him that the living room needed his attention and promptly went to bed herself. He stepped over the phone on the way to sorting out the shit that was left lying around.
He's lazing around in his sweats and a hoodie, watching some crap movie downstairs with his phone on silent beside him since he did find Britt's shirt so he text her to let her know and Quinn to tell her he had her iPod and that wound up meaning he was invited out with half the club later to the bowling alley for some non-illegal fun. He's pretty sure it was Rachel's idea. He still agrees to go, waiting for his ma to get up around six that night and for Sarah to slam into the house just after seven before getting his ass dressed and ready to go. He's pretty sure he'll be worn out from Rachel and Santana's plans by the second week of summer and then spend the rest of the break just ignoring them all with the occasional venture to hang with one of the guys.
Either way, he pulls up at the bowling alley at eight like requested (demanded really, since it was Quinn who invited him) and finds that he's actually the last to show up (probably because it's a quarter after eight but whatever) and he's pretty sure that Kurt just turned an even more impressive shade of pale at the sight of him. He figures out why pretty soon, because Blaine is like attached to Kurt's hip -literally, Blaine's secured rather neatly to Kurt's hip, although Kurt has his hands crossed in his lap. It must be another of Kurt's abnormal 'no PDAs' thing.
"Puck!" Quinn grins at him, which is unusual, and waves, like he doesn't know where they are.
"Hey," he's weirded out by the fact that she hugs him -legit, she fucking hugs him as he approaches them all, tossing Britt her shirt which gets him a grin from her, and offering Quinn's vibrant purple iPod to her. "Who left one of their shoes, by the way?"
"Speaking of shoes, you need shoes. C'mon, I'll go with you." He doesn't get to protest, but a glance at the screen in front of their aisles tells him they've booked two lanes and he's in one with Quinn anyway, so he just lets her drag him over to get his bowling shoes.
"Okay, Q, what's with the personality one-eighty?" It's not that he minds, really. See, sure they didn't work out, and they probably thought they could for the sole purpose of Beth, but without that, they were just friends who kind of resented the other for what had happened that whole year. Sure, they managed to get along in New York for Nationals, she'd been making a point of avoiding Finn and it had basically left them standing in a hall around the corner from Finn and Sam for twenty minutes just to avoid them. And last night was pretty much a step towards at least being friends since angry-girl-drunk Quinn didn't make an appearance at all. But he doesn't get why she's being super nice Quinn. Unless she enjoyed her foray into girl sex that much.
"Finn asked Kurt what happened last night." Puck felt something coil in his stomach, because why the fuck would Kurt tell Finn if he wanted Puck to stay quiet? "He said he stayed at your house after helping to clean up," well, yes, that was the story, "in Sarah's bed?" Quinn raises one eyebrow at him, and he realises that shit she'd know that he didn't let anyone into his little sisters room.
It wasn't like her room was a shrine or anything like that, nothing creepy like Rachel's 'future Oscar room slash Rachel Berry appreciation room' or whatever. But the friends that he had, the usual friends that he had, messed shit up and got up to all sorts at parties. There was no way some douche and some whore were getting their freak on in his little sisters bed, okay? He just was not down with that. So, Q would be the one to pick up on the little fault in Kurt's tale, because she was the only one he'd taken the time to explain it to, back when she'd lived at his place.
"Just leave it, Quinn." He gets that she's maybe trying to help, maybe she just wants to know what happened so that she can do something in some way that might be useful. He doubts it, it's probably just her inner gossip queen vying to get out, but he'd give her the benefit of the doubt for now.
"C'mon, you guys were kinda hot you know," she's got a small blush on her cheeks and Puck finally gets a pair of bowling shoes so they can head back over to the others, but Quinn grabs him at the elbow to stop him. "Puck, seriously, what happened?"
He sighs, shaking his head a little. It's not like he's into Kurt or anything, not really. Sure, the guy is okay; he's funny sometimes, a little stuck up from time to time, but he's a decent friend (at least to Mercedes and Rachel usually) and he's Finn's new step-brother so there are rules or whatever. It makes him Puck's boy, like Artie is, so it means that Puck kinda likes the guy. But he's not all hearts and flowers and crushing on him or anything. It was fun, yeah, it was new -which doesn't happen all that often for Puck anymore- so it was whatever.
"What always happens. Shit goes down, morning comes, the speech gets replayed. 'Last night was great but I have a boyfriend and I kinda regret sleeping with you, so don't tell anyone, okay' and then they bail. Not that I slept with him like that, just, y'know, what the dice said." He shrugs slightly, avoiding Quinn's eye. "But then he spent the night, just sleeping and sobered in the morning or whatever." At nine in the fucking morning too, like that wasn't bad enough. There's a bitter taste in his mouth right then, it's oddly reminiscent of the dead cat taste from earlier, but Puck just ignores it.
"Oh," Quinn's face kind of falls, like she'd forgotten that Kurt was dating someone, someone who definitely was not Puck, because apparently he's not the kind of guy to be tied down to. Even Lauren dumped his ass for the sake of her rep. 'No one takes me seriously when I'm dating Lima's man-whore' were her exact words. "Puck, I--"
"It's fine, whatever," except it's pretty obvious that Kurt's going to be awkward as hell, he'll likely last half the summer and then he'll spill his little fashionista heart to Blaine which may or may not break them up and then Puck'll be the asshole the fucked up another of his friends relationships and shit, that'll probably remind Finn about the Quinn thing and he'll be given the cold shoulder all over again.
He's probably pouting, or something else stupidly childish, because Quinn snorts slightly and rubs his back. "C'mon, you're on a team with me, Britt and San." And that's a foursome he could distract himself with. "We can kick Finchel Klaine butt and tell 'em to suck it." Puck all out laughs at her then.
"You're hanging out with San again, aren't you?" She doesn't answer, but she sticks close to his side when they head back to the lane, finding that the others have started without them and Britt's already scored the first strike of the game. San gives him a wink that promises details later and Puck just tries to ignore Kurt constantly trying to catch his eye.
It helps that Quinn sucks at bowling. Santana tries to insult her into bowling a decent shot, Britt shouts out all sorts of tips that make no sense and Puck tries to explain it the easiest way possible.
"Shut up and just show me!" Quinn huffs, Rachel's just bowled a spare and Quinn refuses to lose out to the 'HudmelBerryson' team as they dubbed themselves. "You're so much better at hands-on directing." She's holding a pink bowling ball in her hand, jutting out her hip and Puck's just rolling his eye at the come on before nodding.
"Finn better not punch me later." Because Finn has this weird thing about letting shit go or whatever, but Quinn just shrugs. He shows her how to hold herself again, making sure she keeps herself from tensing up too much and directing her where she needs to go. It's only slightly awkward because he's pretty much pressing his crotch into her ass, but Quinn smirks and presses back at him and yeah, he's sure she's been hanging out with San again. So he pulls out the A-game, lets his voice dip, his lips brush her ear when he's telling her how to aim better and his breath brushes over her cheek.
She bowls her first strike when they get through the little tutorial and Quinn literally squeals with joy and jumps him. She's still yelling her joy when he turns them to head back to the seats, her legs around his waist until she drops down to jump around with Santana and Brittany to celebrate her strike and Puck can't miss the slight glare aimed at him. Only it's not Finn that's glaring. It's not even Rachel.
It's Kurt. Like he's just run over Kurt's favourite sweater or something and seriously? He avoids even standing facing Kurt's direction from then on. Quinn gets him to go through things with her twice more and from then on she's knocking out sevens and eights on her own, sometimes getting her spare. Britt and San are mostly about speed and power than anything else while Rachel, Kurt and Blaine are fairly average with their shots. Him and Finn are almost always hitting strikes. Finn gutter balls once because Rachel bends over to tie her laces while he's walking past to take his shot and Puck hits three one time because Brittany gropes his ass just as he lets the ball go.
PucktanaQuittany, which is what Brittany decides is their team name, win by twenty points, which means the HudmelBerryson's are paying for supper. Which they end up agreeing to go to Denny's for. Quinn grabs a ride with him, although San and Britt snag a kiss from her before she climbs into his truck with him and Puck's somewhat glad that Finn and Rachel were as surprised at that as he was.
"Um, Q? Something you wanna share?" He at least waits until it's just the two of them.
"Well, we all went back to Britt's last night and, well the three of us had like, I don't know, a moment in New York I guess. Santana kind of came onto me last night after we left and, it wasn't terrible, you know? I mean, no offence, but I've sort of been really worried about sex ever since, y'know?" Yeah, he sort of did know. There was a place in his wallet dedicated to a condom now and he was never going to just wing it again. "But with San and Britt, well, it's safe."
Safe as in they won't knock her up and ruin her life. Safe as in they're already in a relationship together and just want to include her or have a good time. Safe as in they are not best friends with her boyfriend and they're not breaking anyone up.
"Yeah." He's kind of stuck in his own head for long enough that he doesn't bother asking for details right then. Although he knows for a fact that he's gonna later, be it with Quinn, Britt or Santana. But it makes him wonder just a little. When she brings up the 'safe' thing. He knows that he's not somewhat interested in Kurt because it's safe in that way. Maybe Rachel was safe because she was with Finn, and all in love with Finn, and she was never going to look at him as relationship material. Maybe Lauren was safe because she didn't even want him. Maybe Kurt was safe because he'd never measure up to perfect Blaine Anderson.
Maybe Puck was taking his commitment phobia to a whole new level here.
He didn't want to always be the douche that slept with other dudes girlfriends, or boyfriends in Kurt's case. But he probably wasn't cut out for the boyfriend thing himself. He was 'dating' Rachel for like an hour. Okay, it was like five days, but most of that was spent either listening to her talk -and by listening he means zoning out- making out with her or walking her to class. They didn't make it to the weekend before she dumped him because she wanted Finn too much or whatever so they never went on an actual date. And Lauren just sort of told him what to do a lot, so he wasn't sure if they were dating or having a fake marriage at the time. So he's never really done that relationship thing to the point where he could say he could even do it.
They pull up to Denny's to find that San and Britt are there already, so they head over to wait with the pair until Kurt gets there in the Navi with the others. San and Britt decide that making out is an acceptable past time while they wait and Quinn just ends up perched between Puck's legs while he sits against Britt's bright pink VW. When the others get there, they head in to find a booth. Eight people do not fit into a booth, but Rachel is practically moulded to Finn's side, and Britt sits on San's lap with her feet in between Puck and Quinn's legs while they huddle close.
Britt and San share a plate of fritters and maple syrup while Rachel tries to get Finn to eat some fried veggies instead of his beef burger, Blaine picks at a plate of fries while Kurt hugs a mug of coffee and Quinn entices Puck into sharing a banana split with her. He kind of avoids the strawberry ice cream, since it's her favourite, and picks at the banana and the chocolate ice cream until Quinn makes a point on giving him some strawberry off her spoon. It's a little weird, especially when Britt's foot starts stroking at his calf and Puck just raises an eyebrow at Quinn.
"Kurt hasn't stopped staring at you since you showed up." Quinn whispers it in his ear, their faces hiding her mouth from view but she still makes a point on nipping his earlobe between her teeth before licking it. He really can't help the slight gasp and smirk at it, because she's got sharp as fuck teeth and it hurts a bit, even as she smirks at him before plopping the cherry into her mouth happily.
Finn's frowning at him, Rachel seems a little amused and, yeah, Kurt's still glaring. He knows what Quinn's doing, he does. And she's fantastically devious but there's really no point in it at all, because Kurt's probably just in a bad mood that Puck's messing around like nothing happened last night -even if that's what Kurt wants to believe did happen. But when Britt declares that she needs to go to the restroom and all the girls need to come with her, he kind of hates Quinn a little.
"So," the door to the restroom area has barely swung shut when Finn starts, "you and Quinn, huh? Trying again?" Puck's kind of surprised that Finn would suggest it. Since him and Quinn were a big smack in the face for the end of Finn and Quinn and just the reminder that Puck fucked Quinn while she was Finn's. Not to mention the end of him and Quinn the first time had been such a fucking head trip that it resulted in a juvie stint for him and a borderline mental breakdown for Quinn later in New York.
"Um, no, I don't know, it's just..." He can't exactly say that Quinn's just trying to help him not feel awkward around Kurt and avoid another conversation, that she probably feels a little guilty about the fact that she gave him one of those speeches and he's pretty much going to need to listen to someone else tell him why he's better kept a secret. But 'she's just comforting me while your step-brother pretends he didn't have his mouth around my dick and then come in my hand with my name on his lips' isn't a good idea.
"You two look good together." It's the first time he actually looks at Blaine that night, even if the guy is trying to be encouraging or something, and Puck raises an eyebrow, because seriously, the dude wore a bowtie to go bowling? Why is Puck just noticing this?
"Right, yeah, thanks. It's about the only thing that's good about us." Because he likes Quinn, yes, and there is always going to be a part of him that loves her. She's the mother to his daughter and that'll never change, no matter who Beth calls mom and dad, she'll always be something between him and Quinn. But as a couple, trying to make a relationship on an accidental pregnancy is not a good idea and they just can't take that back. They're just better as friends.
Rachel appears from the restroom first, so they start to exit the booth, ready to get out of there as Finn goes off to settle the bill for them all. Finn's just coming back as Quinn, San and Britt come back. Only Britt weaves around Finn and Rachel until she slams into Puck's chest, her arms wrapping around his neck and her mouth fusing to his in a harsh kiss. He's stunned long enough to let her practically climb him until he grips her hips to just keep her secured against him and thinks what the hell and kisses her back. He can kind of hear Finn and Blaine behind her, Santana says something but Britt moans into his mouth and bites on his lip and he just ignores them until she's finished examining his mouth with her tongue and starts to pull back. Her face is flushed and he's a little uncomfortable in the crotch area, but Britt wraps her arms around his waist to hug herself against him.
"Not that I'm complaining," as if he ever would, "but is there a reason you decided to maul me with your mouth?"
"Everyone got to kiss you last night." Overstatement on that fact, but she was the only chick he didn't make out with last night, "Even Kurt and Mike got to. So, I didn't wanna be left out." It's perfect Britt logic, and neither Quinn or San are saying a thing about it -hell, Britt didn't say anything when he was dared to make out with Santana for seven minutes last night, so he figures it's whatever and just wraps his arm around Britt's shoulder.
"Wait, what?" Blaine's glancing between Puck and Kurt and Puck suddenly finds Brittany's ponytail to be fascinating to flick at.
"Oh, we had a party at Noah's house last night," Rachel says with a smile, "we had a few party games and lots of alcohol and," she waves a hand, "it was just a little wilder than my party."
"If you think that was wild," Santana's smirking at Rachel, her arm around Quinn's waist and Puck's aware that him and San have just swapped blondes like some weird kinky swinger couple, "wait until you experience a Lopez party." Although the Lopez party is happening at Britt's house, which is kind of the point of a Lopez party -never do it in your own pad, because shit goes down.
"Um, do you think, I mean can I--"
"Of course," Kurt jumps in right there and Puck wonders if this is actually the first thing that Puck's heard him say all night. "Santana, you don't mind if Blaine comes along, right? You can stay at my place afterwards, it'll be great." If Puck has to spend the entire party watching what he says, he's going to shoot himself.
"Sure, we gotta break you into the more hard-core of parties anyway." They get out to the parking lot and Puck expects Britt to pull away from his side and head off with Quinn and San while he goes home, even though it's barely midnight, he's a little tired of dealing with this already. Only that doesn't happen.
"San, drive my car." Britt tosses her keys to Santana, who winks at him as she goes to the driver side of Britt's car with Quinn climbing into the passenger side. "Puck can drive me and we'll meet you at mine." He's a little confused, but with Brittany you tend to usually be a little confused anyway. He gets a weird look from Finn, one the might be encouraging or shocked or whatever, but Puck can't tell, so he just waves his goodnight and helps Britt up into his truck before following San back to Britt's place.
When they get to Britt's house, he's shoved up the stairs and into her room while San and Quinn talk to Mrs Pierce and Britt gets snacks or whatever. Puck's aware that while Britt's mom and dad are cool with her having friends over, boys after midnight are not technically allowed, but apparently, if Mrs Pierce doesn't see it, it didn't happen. So he sprawls out on her horribly comfortable bed and has a brief chat with Lord Tubbington; Britt's a little nuts about her cat and anyone that knows her knows that they have to be accepting of her cat and all his quirks. Honestly, the cat is kind of cool.
He's scratching at the back of the cats ears when the girls come in, Tubbington making a slow escape to his little kitty sleeping bag and ignoring them all. Santana crawls into his lap, leaning over him and pressing their mouths together and for fuck sake, what is with these girls? He's enough of a whore for it that he just lies there, hands on Santana's hips until she starts pressing down to rub against his crotch and then he needs to pull his mouth away from hers.
"Unless this ends with everyone naked, I'mma have to stop you there." Santana is the biggest cock tease he's ever met, for all that she puts out, at least a third of the time she doesn't, and he's not heading home later with images of these three going at it with a hard on to take care of himself.
"What happened with you and Kurt?" She presses down, rubbing her crotch against his rapidly hardening dick and Puck just stops thinking as he grips her hips to keep her there.
"He sucked me off, I jerked him off, he spent the night, he left. What happened with you, Britt and Quinn?" Both Brittany and Quinn are sitting near them, both up by the pillows on Britt's bed while he's sprawled near the end of her bed with Santana riding his lap.
"I ate Quinn out, fingered Britt, then Britt showed Q how to fuck me with her hand." And sweet mother of- that's spank bank material for weeks. "Do you wanna hook up with Kurt?" He's really not sure about her method of questioning, really, the way her hips swivel against his, pressing into his dick and rubbing.
"Doesn't matter," he needs to bite back a groan, especially when Britt starts eating a chocolate bar while just fucking watching them. He's mostly surprised that Quinn isn't freaking out. "He's with Blaine, bitch, and that has been made perfectly clear." He definitely needs to grab her hips to stop her, because he's a few minutes away from just flipping them over and fucking her on Britt's bed and he's not sure just what Santana's relationship with Quinn and Britt is anymore, but it's probably not the sort that allows for ex-fuck buddies to get it on right in front of them. "What is your game?"
"Blaine's nice. He's great." Quinn shoots in and Puck turns his head to look at her, "But he's sort of, well, boring."
"He's like mini-Schue. Or boy-Rachel. Or like, the child of Schue and Rachel, and that's scary." And Britt's just totally given in mental images that even Santana in his lap can't stave off.
"Nice boner killer, Britt." Santana clearly notices, even as she twists her hips a little, like it's going to help and Puck just shakes his head with a sigh.
"And this involves me how?" Yeah, he figured that Quinn would likely fill Santana in on things, Britt by extension -he hopes to hell they didn't tell Rachel because then Kurt'll be mad at him for not keeping his mouth shut or whatever and why the fuck does he care if Kurt's mad at him?
"Because, he's totally thinking about it. Seriously, a guy doesn't stare at someone the way he's been staring at you unless he wants to do it again. Trust me, I know." And she would, really. But Puck's not convinced because the 'don't tell' came across pretty strong. And sure, maybe Kurt just doesn't want to be labelled as a cheater or whatever, but it's more than likely that Kurt doesn't want it coming out that he's gotten off with Puck. Certain people have certain reputations, and Kurt's couldn't handle stringless sex with Puck.
"And your point is?"
"The party." Britt grins at him, leaning on Quinn's shoulder, "We wanna help you get Kurt." Quinn just nods, and he's wondering if she thinks that same-gender sex is what he needs to be as happy as she looks right there with Britt's hand on her thigh. And fair enough, Quinn deserves a few orgasms without the fear of her uterus being inhabited for nine months, but what makes them think that Kurt would pick Puck over Blaine just because of a party?
"I am so not following." So Santana crawls off his lap and they make him sit there and listen to their plan. Britt figures that they can branch out with this party, let more than just the glee club come along, and that way people will be much looser. But the after party games, where Britt's brilliant plan comes in, that's just for glee club members.
He doesn't stop to ask them why, since apparently 'Blaine is boring' is a completely reasonable excuse to break up someone's relationship and try to make another one based on one night of drunken flirting an mutual orgasms. Puck's not entirely convinced. He doesn't sleep all that much that night, there's only so much he can do when he's perched on a bed with his arms around Quinn's waist and San and Britt nuzzling in until they are a squashed foursome fully clothed and under Britt's duvet.
It doesn't help that he's kicked out of the bed first thing in the morning when Britt's mom knocks on the door to let Britt and San and Quinn know that she's off to work and that Britt's dad and sister are already away out. Brittany's floor is not squishy like she assumes it is.
His mood doesn't improve when he gets to the basketball court to find Blaine and Kurt have been invited along too. Great, like he needs to keep thinking about that.
"Dude, you look like shit." He hasn't seen Sam since school finished for the year, and this is the greeting he gets?
"Thanks man, love hearing that." Considering he sat up with the girls, talking until four in the morning and then him and Quinn ended up having a pretty intense conversation while she worked out how she felt about being exclusive with two girls, and then the very rude wake up, Puck's not exactly feeling rested at all. "Didn't sleep much."
"Seriously?" Finn looks at him like he's just declared the meaning of life to be pop tarts. "Dude," he elbows Mike and grins, Kurt and Blaine edging over like there's going to be some huge surprise revealed. "You went back to Britt's, with San and Quinn and Brittany? Seriously?" Puck catches what Finn means at the same time as Mike, while Sam looks decidedly uncomfortable.
"Fuck, Finn, you really think that if I'd just nailed the Unholy Trinity I'd crawl my ass out to hang out with you guys? Fuck no." He needs to punch Finn's shoulder on principle, and he's totally not reading into the fact that Kurt looks just as relieved as Sam is. "Britt wanted to talk about San's party, Quinn wanted to talk about the whole," he waved his hand slightly, "Britt and San thing," because he's not sure she understands it never mind him understanding it. "I did not bang the trio, okay? Don't go spreading shit that'll get my balls removed."
It stops the speculation and it shuts Finn up for the moment on the subject of Puck's sex life, which he is grateful for right then. And it works for him. Him and Mike take on Finn and Sam in a two on two while Kurt and Blaine sit and watch. Apparently, Blaine's not one for sports, but he does like watching. He knows the rules and likes to call Finn on his shoddy tackles and comments on their shots a few times out. Finn takes exception to Blaine calling Puck a better player.
"Dude, c'mon, it's just a bounce game, leave it." Puck doesn't need to have Finn's ego bashed, not when he's meant to be staying with him for a COD marathon with Artie and fuck, sleep is like a thing of the past already. But it starts a hoop shooting competition, because Finn feels like he needs to make sure that Blaine is aware that Finn is better than Puck, athletically speaking. Puck is sure he'll be sleeping in the yard tonight. "Do we have to?" Because Puck isn't about to hold back, Finn always gets into these pissing contests with him, and Puck could really do without it.
"Puck, just do it and get it over with." Again, it's the first thing that Kurt's said to Puck all day, and he doesn't even bother looking up at him. With a sigh, Puck stands on the half way line of the court and gives a bounce on the balls of his feet while letting the ball fly. It dunks right into the net and Puck glares at Finn.
"Really wanna do this?" Blaine looks like he's impressed and fuck that because Puck's not out to try and impress Kurt's little boy toy right now. "Dude, I am tired and I am hot and I seriously don't wanna kick your ass right now. Accept that I can sink a basket better than you and let's all move on with our day." Mike and Sam have already stepped off on this, and Finn looks like he finally gets that it's a good idea. It means Puck can go back to his place, shower and change and head over to the Hudmel house when Carole shows up without worrying about Finn and his stupid girly hormones.
"I'm better at football than you."
"Yes, Finn, yes you are. And better at fixing cars too, okay?" Puck wouldn't know what to do with a car, but Finn's getting there now that he's working with Burt, and that's good, because it makes Finn feel like he's got some kind of purpose and Puck's all for that. Even if Puck kicks Finn's butt at Mario Kart for forty minutes before they ditch the Wii and pull out the COD to play against Artie.
"So hey, what's up with you and Kurt?" Finn asks it out of the blue and Puck almost gets his head blown off with a grenade.
"Nothing, nothing's up, what makes you think something's up?" He really needs to work on deflecting that question if everyone is planning on asking it. Because it's starting to get a little annoying.
"He practically freaked out when I reminded him you were spending the night." Finn shrugs, so Puck's pretty sure it's just Finn's reaction to Kurt's abnormal behaviour. Finn's gotten a little protective of Kurt since he came back to McKinley, and it's a good thing really, 'cause it means Kurt's got someone watching his back pretty much constantly, just in case the crap starts up again or whatever.
"He's probably just a little embarrassed about the kisses and stuff, y'know, from the other night." Even though it's probably a lot more than just that. But Puck's still not bringing it up. He's not sure if he should, least of all to Finn. Santana, Brittany and Quinn might be too much considering their scheming. He's kind of worried that Santana's planning and Britt's good will but poor execution is going to blow up in his face and he'll be fucked over for the rest of summer and senior year. It's not how he wants to spend his last year of high school, really.
But the game at least sucks in Finn's attention and he stops asking questions. Although it does leave Puck to think far too much on things. He's still not sure if he's actually interested in Kurt because he sort of wants him or if it's because Kurt doesn't want him. He's always been a bit of a commitment phobe, the closest he really got to a relationship in the long term way was Santana, and they were long term fuck buddies, not really boyfriend/girlfriend. He just didn't think he was cut out for crap like that, not like Finn and Sam and Mike seemed to be. Hell, not like Kurt and Blaine were.
Finn calls it a night when Artie does, somewhere around three in the morning and Puck really wants to be able to shut his mind off and just fall asleep like Finn manages. Instead he's stretched out on the floor, in his sleeping bag, watching the ceiling and trying to rationalise everything in his head. It doesn't work. Sighing, Puck heads downstairs to get a drink of water and hopefully chill out enough that he'll go to sleep afterwards.
He's just leaning against a counter in the kitchen, the house warm enough that he's just in his sweats, sipping a glass of water because he's really not in a rush to go back upstairs and not sleep on Finn's floor again. Except when Kurt suddenly appears, Puck's suddenly hating himself to leaving Finn's room.
"Oh," Kurt stops just in the doorway to the kitchen, staring slightly before he blushes slightly, "I didn't-- Sorry." He turns away to leave and Puck sighs slightly, because this is seriously going to get old fast. But then Kurt stops and turns around walking into the kitchen. "Look, I know that I was the one who--" the blush is higher on Kurt's cheeks and Puck places his glass down to listen to this, since it seems he's not getting away from it, "well, I know that I started things. I get that you, that it wasn't, I mean you didn't--" Kurt sighs again and Puck seriously can't take it.
"I get it, okay. Alcohol helps you forget all kinds of things. Like boyfriends." It wouldn't be the first time that it happened after all. "It's fine, I get it. I'm not gonna say anything to your boy about it, okay? I'm pretty good at keeping my mouth shut around boyfriends." He can't deal with this conversation with Kurt, really he can't. Puck shifts to walk past Kurt, although his arm brushes against the soft silk like fabric of Kurt's pyjama top and it sort of makes little goose bumps burst out on his arm and Kurt makes a small noise that Puck doesn't catch.
The next thing Puck knows though is Kurt pushing him into the seat at the end of the kitchen table and proceeding to climb into his lap. He's made out with more people in the last three days than he did in the last three months, but he can't form a complaint as Kurt's tongue slips into his mouth. Puck just groans against it, head tipping back as Kurt straddles his lap and presses his fucking silky shirt into Puck's chest. Kurt shivers against him as Puck's fingers slip under Kurt's shirt to stroke against his sides while Kurt tugs at the short strands of Puck's mohawk. Puck's hips buck up as Kurt's push down and they both groan against the other's mouth, Puck's fingers tightening slightly at Kurt's hips. They break apart just so that they can breathe and Kurt bites on Puck's lower lip as he draws away.
"Unless you broke up with your boyfriend in the three seconds it took you to mount me, we need to stop right now." Puck kind of hates himself right there, why the fuck is he saying stop? But it's definitely better if they stop right now, because it's not a good idea, and he is not just some fucking tension relief or whatever, and Kurt doesn't need yet more to avoid him and be awkward about. That kind of flies out the window though as Kurt pulls back and away and Puck's left sitting there like a total idiot.
It's another night he doesn't get any sleep.